


Don't Worry

by prince_of_kuthia



Series: Prince of Darkness [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Accidental Child Acquisition, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Breastfeeding, Crying, Embarrassment, Extremely Blatant Undertale Reference, Galra Keith (Voltron), Gen, Graphic Suicide, Humiliation, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kinda, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Violence, PTSD flashbacks, Shiro doesn't go missing at the end of s2, anxious characters, dads of marmora, he gets adopted by the bom, hes also done with the universes shit, like seriously im not even attempting to hide it, murder spree, my character Curses A Lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-01-31 05:10:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 31,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12675069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prince_of_kuthia/pseuds/prince_of_kuthia
Summary: While on a minor mission, the Blade of Marmora encounter a cub who's a long way from home. Accompanied by a Galra whose body changes as fluidly as an Altean's, the cub insists he's not a cub. After a slight miscommunication, the Blade of Marmora take both cub and strange Galra back to base. Because really, who were they to leave a cub on an unfamiliar planet?Even if said cub is more powerful than he first appears...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> pls enjoy i work hard on this

I glared at the dusty, wet-sand-colored ground as I ran, like that would solve my problems. Sugar and I had crashed into a galaxyworld- a world that had its own universe within it- and had changed accordingly. I had remained much the same, just much shorter and younger-looking (goddammit, what was with worlds and making me look younger than 18?!), but Sugar had changed drastically. He had grown a fine layer of white fur and he looked kind of like a bipedal cat, to be honest. He even had a  _ tail _ . His eyes had completely filled with yellow, and he’d gotten  _ taller. _ Before, at the height I was at now, he would just tower over me. But with the stupid growth spurt he’d had in the galaxyworld, he would tower over even the tallest people. 

That wasn’t the bad part. The bad part was that every citizen we’d seen on this world were terrified of him, and so no one would answer my questions with him following me around. 

We’d had to resort to him melting into my shadow, despite the fact that it made my shadow change to match  _ his _ form and not mine. To fix that little problem, whenever possible he would pan my shadow underneath me, hiding in a sort of ball.

The even worse part was that we were now being chased by purple bipedal cats with  _ swords _ , and my younger body did not have as much stamina and endurance as I normally would. Because of that, exhaustion crept on me quickly. Seriously, these bipedal cats must be endurance predators or some shit like that, because they weren’t even  _ sweating. _ This was fucking ass. I began to slow but tried to keep running, because goddamn I was  _ not _ gonna get killed by fucking purple bipedal cats. It was bad enough that I’d once died from falling down the stairs and breaking my neck, this would  _ not _ be going on my death record.

And then I tripped over my own foot.

I yelped, pitching forward, and I tumbled for a few feet. When I’d finally slowed to a stop, the front of my red shirt was darkened with whatever the fuck this ground was (because seriously it was not dirt, it was kind of like sandy clay) and I’d gotten some of that shit in my eye. My eye teared up immediately, and I desperately rubbed at my eye.

“Fucking hell,” I muttered. The purple bipedal cats slowed as they neared me, stopping maybe a foot or two away. They had black clothes with purple accents and weird masks. Great, glad to know I was going to die to  _ purple fucking bipedal cats. _

Knowing they’d catch me if I tried to keep running (I’d only gotten away the first time because I’d caught them by surprise and had, like, a minute’s head start), I huffed and leaned away from them with my hands out defensively.

“Don’t come closer,” I called, unsure if they’d even understand me. But the citizens had, so maybe this galaxyworld had translators or whatever. “I will not hesitate to fight.”

Three of the purple bipeds turned to the fourth and final biped, apparently awaiting instructions. They conferred amongst each other briefly, and then the largest biped stepped forward.

“Stay back!” I shouted. I tightened my grip on the air in front of me, and a flash of light revealed Cor Sapphiri, my light blue crystal Keyblade, within my grasp. “I will not hesitate to kill you if you do not stay away!”

The large beast only chuffed at me. “You could no more hurt me than you could run away, cubling.”

“Cubling?!” Outraged, I bared my teeth in a snarl. Huddled beneath me, Sugar’s eyes appeared. He shifted in my shadow, causing it to warp oddly. “I’m no cub!”

The large biped chuffed again and took a step forward. I tightened my grip on Cor Sapphiri, prepared to activate My Turn and FIGHT.

Sugar snarled fiercely, springing out of my shadow and crouching protectively in front of me. His feathery wings had begun to appear, transparent but just visible enough to show how ruffled they were. He bared his fangs, which were admittedly more impressive than my small canine teeth. His long, prehensile tail whipped through the air with an audible  _ crack _ , and one glance at his face showed me that he was beginning to distort. I touched his back.

“Sug’,” I breathed. “I’ve got this.” 

His snarls didn’t die down at all, but slowly his features began to be distinct against his face again. Long, thick black claws dug into the earth beneath us, and he took a deep, raspy breath.

The leader of the bipedal cats (the one the first three had turned to before) took a step forward and put his clawed hand on the giant beast’s shoulder. “Antok, stand down,” they (he?) commanded. 

The beast, Antok, grumbled but took a step back. 

The leader surveyed Sugar and me for a moment, and then-they crouched down to be eye-level with me. “I am Kolivan,” they introduced. “You are safe, cubling.”

“Tell that to your giant beast of a warrior!” I protested, fisting Sugar’s mane to keep him from pouncing as I leaned over his back and pointed at Antok.

“Were you not just boasting of your combat skills?” Kolivan asked, amusement filtering through the translators.

“Hardly boasting,” I scoffed. “I was merely telling the truth. Didn’t you see my Keyblade?”

“Keyblade… that is a term I have not heard before. Explain to me what it is.” Kolivan’s tone left no room for argument.

“Hmph,” I sniffed, “only because you haven’t heard of them.” I lifted Cor Sapphiri and held it in front of me. “This is Cor Sapphiri, one of my Keyblades,” I began. “The Keyblade is an ancient weapon of Light, capable of defeating the Darkness in ways that other weapons can’t. It chooses its own wielder, and Keyblade wielders are incredibly rare. It’s capable of powerful magic and is the master key of the universe. It can unlock or lock anything, even hearts.”

“I assume you are not talking about the physical organ,” Kolivan hummed. “Very well. Violence is not the answer in this situation. I would like to extend an invitation to you and your friend to come to my base.”

Sugar growled lowly. I flicked his ear and clambered onto his back. “Calm down, Sugar,” I mumbled into one of those huge cat ears. To Kolivan, I nodded. “Alright. Bring us to your base. Be warned- I have the power to destroy this entire galaxy, and I will not hesitate to use it should you prove to be deceitful.”

“Of course,” Kolivan agreed smoothly. “May I know your name, cubling?”

I held my head up and straightened my back. Might as well give them my full name so that they knew who they was dealing with. “I am Cobalt Dreamer, Prince of Darkness.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't originally going to post this but the friends I shared it with said it was good so here it is
> 
> The Kingdom Hearts tag is here because my oc is actually a kh oc. No KH characters will appear.
> 
> Also, Sugar's true appearance will come up sometime in this fic!


	2. Chapter 2

I got fucking babied.

The behemoth of a warrior was Antok, as I’d learned, and the leader was Kolivan, but the two warriors I hadn’t heard talk were apparently very friendly once I was on their spaceship. One was furrier than the other, and his name was Thace. The other seemed more reptilian, and that one was called Doctor Ulaz. I elected to ignore the ‘doctor’ title and instead just called him Ulaz. Through eavesdropping, I figured out that Kolivan really was a he (which was a fucking relief). 

Getting to the base was easy enough, even though we had to pass through  _ two fucking black holes like seriously what the fuck. _ And to my utter outrage, Antok scooped me right up into his arms and carried me off the ship.

“Let me go this instant, you overgrown cat!” I snapped, struggling. Sugar materialized out of the ground, fur beginning to bristle. 

“You are very tiny,” he told me, like it was the most obvious thing in the entire galaxyworld. “It would not do for you to get trampled.”

“I would not get trampled,” I retorted. “Put me down.”

Antok only shrugged and placed me, gently, on my feet. I glared at him and latched onto Sugar’s right arm, ignoring the coarse fur that brushed against my face. Sugar’s claws sank into my shirt, carefully avoiding my skin. One glance at his face reassured me that he wasn’t going to start melting anytime soon (which would affect my mental state). 

Kolivan, at the front of the group, turned to face me and Sugar. “Welcome to the base of the Blade of Marmora,” he said. “If a door is locked, I ask that you refrain from unlocking it. Otherwise, you are free to explore as you please, Prince Cobalt.”

I raised one eyebrow. “You don’t have to call me Prince,” I said. “Cobalt is fine.”

Kolivan dipped his head. “As you wish. Return to this room and proceed north when you wish to be shown a bedroom.” With that, he nodded a farewell to me and walked through the north door, presumably to go sit in on some meetings or whatever. 

Thace grinned at me, friendliness painted on his face. He trotted off through the east doors, Ulaz following him with a nod to me.

“Huh,” I mused. “Maybe I should tell people who I really am more often?”

“I don’t think so,” Sugar said. He crouched down so that I could ease myself onto his back again, upon which he hooked his arms under my knees and stood back up. “People usually react badly when you tell them that you’re the Prince of Darkness.”

“That’s true…” I sighed. “Oh well. Let’s find the mess hall, you must be starving at this point.”

“I’m always starving,” my white-furred friend reminded me. “It’s kind of part of the whole ‘Gluttony’ thing.”

I laughed, digging my fingers into his mane as he started forward through the west doors. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing you like carrying me so much then,” I hummed. “Cause otherwise you’d be hearing a  _ lot _ of complaining.”

Sugar made an odd sort of purring-laughing noise. “I guess so.”

* * *

 

The room Kolivan gave me to use was large, almost as large as the room that I’d had when I was a child under my father’s rules. I walked into it, glancing around curiously.

“This is where you will be sleeping,” Kolivan said. “I apologize that there are no grander rooms to offer.”

I waved my hand dismissively. “It’s fine. You’re a war base, and I didn’t expect a room this big anyway. I like it.”

“Very well then.” Kolivan nodded his head to me again, treating me like some foreign dignitary. Well, maybe I was- I  _ was _ a prince, and certainly not of the Blade of Marmora. “Should you require anything, do not hesitate to ask. I will provide if I can.”

“Really, Kolivan.” I turned to face him, meeting his solid-yellow eyes. “You don’t have to treat me so formally. My status as Prince of Darkness doesn’t make me any better than anyone else.”

Kolivan was silent for a second, and then he said, “If you would, please explain to me what it means to be the ‘Prince of Darkness’.”

I settled down on the large bed and shrugged. “I command the power of the Darkness as easily as I would take a breath. I am the Prince of Darkness because the Darkness Realm herself chose me.”

“I see. It is more of an apprentice-like situation than a heirloom of your family?”

I nodded. “Yes, somewhat. The Darkness Realm is…” and here I fumbled for the correct words, “a place, a consciousness; she can’t die, but she chose to bestow her powers upon me. She answers my call when I ask for help and should I ever need something from her she will not hesitate to give. She is more a mother figure than a mentor.”

Kolivan nodded and then bowed slightly. For Kingdom Hearts’ sake, he was only being  _ more formal. _ “Thank you for enlightening me. I bid you sleep well.”

Goddammit.


	3. Chapter 3

It was kind of… lonely.

I mean, I understood why. Kolivan couldn’t assign a warrior who was needed to fight the war to spend time with me just because I was lonely. And I had Sugar. But… I could not help but feel alone. The base was bigger than the castle I'd grown up in, and that made it feel very empty.

So I returned to the room that Kolivan frequented most, the one to the north. He bid me enter when I knocked and bowed when he saw me.

I bowed in return and laced my hands together behind my back. “I wish to be made useful,” I told him. “I am able-bodied, as is Sugar. It is a waste to have us merely lounging about.”

“You are the Prince of Darkness,” Kolivan responded. “We cannot risk your death.”

I laughed. “I assure you, I will not die. Still, I am useless sitting here. Surely there are small jobs you need done?”

Of course Kolivan wouldn't know of my ability to RELOAD as I pleased, to avoid my own death or even live on past the point I should have died. His concern was touching, if unnecessary.

Kolivan only hesitated for a second, and then gave in. “There are a few small jobs that you can do. Normally warriors would be sent on these missions, but we are busy fighting alongside Voltron and have not the time.” He stood and walked to the center of the room, placing one of his hands on my shoulder. He had to lean down slightly to do so. “These jobs are fairly simple, such as obtaining supplies and helping in the infirmary. You may not experience the usefulness you desire, but rest assured that you _are_ being useful.”

I grinned, pleased. “Of course. What would you have me do first, sir?”

The formal moniker of ‘sir’ seemed to make him realize that I was now under his authority, at least temporarily. He straightened up and motioned for me to follow him as he head for the tech-bay. “We are running low on food and water supplies,” he told me. “I need you to go to the trading moon and obtain as many supplies as you can. You will be provided a holo-map,  5000 GAC, and a spacecraft that with automatically pilot you to and from the trading moon.”

“Yes, sir. Are there any dietary requirements I should focus on?”

“Meat and grains,” Kolivan said. “Do not purchase anything containing rhir’mar- it is toxic to Galra. Malvokk seeds are to be avoided as well.”

“Understood. When is my departure?” I watched, fascinated, as Kolivan attached a silver watch to my wrist. Tapping at it revealed the holo-map, and it had zoom capabilities so I could find the nearest grocery stores.

“Two vargas,” he said. Upon my confused expression, he said, “I shall send Antok to fetch you when it is time.”

“Thank you, sir. I will not fail.”

I could have sworn Kolivan’s light blue-purple skin crinkled into a smile. “See to that, Dreamer.”

 

* * *

 

Shopping was fun, but I was relieved to return to the base. I was a surprisingly good haggler, and had gotten far more food than I thought Kolivan would expect. There’d been 3 GAC left at the end of the shopping trip, with Sugar taking each bag of food back to the ship after I’d finished in that store. I’d meticulously checked each product for rhir’mar or malvokk seeds, and if I was unsure I asked the store owner. I bought myself a lollipop before we left.

Thace was waiting for me as I emerged from the ship. “Greetings, Dreamer,” he said. “How was your trip?”

“Exciting,” I replied, getting down from the ship. I had to sit down on the step and then lever myself off. Sugar took care of the bags, making a portal of Darkness beneath them and transporting the bags to the kitchen that way. “The trading moon was full of people! Some of them didn’t speak any language I know but Sugar understood _everything_ .” I had to fumble with the lollipop stick to make sure it didn’t fall out of my mouth. It was strawberry flavored, after all; I _loved_ strawberries.

“Good,” he grinned, seeming relieved. He paused as he took in the lollipop stick sticking out of my mouth. “You bought a lollipop?”

“I had only 3 GAC left,” I shrugged. “Seemed a waste not to use it when Kolivan gave me the money. No amount of haggling could get food for only 3 GAC.”

“That’s true,” Thace chuckled. “How much food did you manage to get?”

“Sugar took it all to the kitchen,” I said, brushing back Thace in a friendly way. “Go ask him.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Well done,” Kolivan told me, putting his large hand on my head and giving me a head pat. “You procured enough food to last twice as long as normal.”

I nearly folded underneath his hand. It was sheer willpower that kept me standing, though I did bend at the knees slightly. “Thanks. I’m just good at haggling.”

“How did you like the trading moon?” He seemed almost worried. Maybe he thought I wouldn’t go back if I hadn’t liked it.

“It was crowded, but not too bad,” I hummed, relieved when Kolivan removed his hand from my head. “No stores that interested me, though. Except for the lollipop stand, but the store owner only had one strawberry lollipop and I don’t really care about the other flavors.”

“Strawberry?”

“A red fruit with the seeds on the outside instead of the inside,” I explained. I drew a picture on the wall with a marker that I’d stolen from Ulaz. “Despite its name, it's not made of straw and it's not even a berry.”

“Fascinating,” he said, leaning down to peer at the picture. “I do not wish to be rude, but what planet are you from?”

“I don't know the true name of the world I was raised on,” I responded, “I always just knew it as Home. I later fell to the Darkness Realm, a different world entirely, and became its Prince.”

“I see. Thank you for indulging my curiosity.” Kolivan stood back up, his ears twitching. “You must be hungry. Dine and then retire to your room. I wish for you to assist me on a minor mission.”

“Of course.” I saluted him, as seemed only right to do, and wandered off to find Sugar. I couldn’t read the menus that the Blade of Marmora had in the dining hall, but Sugar seemed to be able to do so just fine. Fuck him for being made of Darkness and able to easily translate stuff.

“Sugar!” I called gently, allowing magic to seep into my words. The shadows around me shivered in anticipation, and then my own shadow began to twist and mutate. I watched as my human shadow darkened, ripped and warped into a hulking Galra. Yellow eyes blinked open and then the black shape became 3D and lightened to white. 

“Hi, Cobalt!” Sugar said cheerfully. My Summon had worked, which was a relief, because I hadn't been sure my magic would work in this world. “Hungry?”

“A little. What's on the menu this time?”

“Some of that tr’thilmirr we got from the butcher,” he began excitedly, barely noticing that he was cradling me in his furry arms, “oh! And that filro’drürm! And…” 

He kept talking the whole way there.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Kolivan brought me to a fucking diplomat meeting. I SAVEd every time I got something right in the talks, hoping that the yellow glow of my eyes went unnoticed each time. 

“You are incredibly eloquent,” the alien princess cooed at me. Her skin was a light teal, and her eyes swam with a variety of colors, the most notable being yellow, light blue, and orange. Her dress was a beautiful shade of magenta, slightly reddish but mostly purplish. She was vaguely humanoid but her legs were stockier than any human’s and she had six arms. Her torso was stick thin and her hips were angular and jutted out.

I was sitting on her lap, actually, because she'd sat down and immediately beckoned me forth and placed me there. I SAVEd nervously and tried for a smile. “Thank you, Princess Sri’nkry.” Fervently, I hoped I hadn't gotten the pronunciation wrong. I had RELOADed too many times, and if i RELOADed again the princess might start to get ‘feelings’ about the past timelines.

The princess smiled happily, her teeth flat and made for an herbivore. “Oh, you are so cute,” she squealed. I desperately looked to Kolivan for help, only to find him not even paying attention. “You even got my name right!” She hugged me with all six arms and I coughed, feeling at least one vertebrae in my spine crack. I hugged her back, fending off the flashbacks and reminding myself that this was not my father crushing me and trying to break my spine. This was not a dangerous time. I was safe and sound and Father could not reach me here.

I must have whined, for the princess quickly let go. “Oh, I'm sorry! I forgot how delicate your body is! Please, forgive me!”

Her voice, soft and warm and friendly, helped to ground me. Sugar crept up my back in my shadow and comforted me as best he could. “There's nothing to forgive, Princess,” I told her, trying to be reassuring. “It was an honest mistake.” I shifted uncomfortably on her lap as she wrapped her two middle arms around me, gently.

“Are you tired?” she asked me, petting my hair. “You may sleep if you wish. I will wake you when the time comes.”

It was the best offer I'd heard since this stupid meeting had started. I SAVEd, just in case, and then snuggled into the princess’ chest. She had no breasts, so her species was likely not mammalian, but her chest was soft all the same. Sugar swept beneath the princess’ chair, silently promising to look out for me, and so I let myself drift off into the void of sleep.

I didn't dream (I had only ever dreamt once) but I was very confused when I woke up. I was no longer on the princess’ lap but on  _ Kolivan’s _ lap. What the actual fuck. I could feel the slight turbulence of the ship, and I was pretty offended by the fact that Princess Sri’nkry hadn't woken me up. 

“What the fuck, Kolivan?” I demanded, sleepily glaring up at him.

“Apologies, Prince Cobalt,” he purred soothingly, the sound making me even drowsier. “I thought it best to let you sleep, as waking you proved to be a difficult task.”

I pouted but didn't struggle away, Kolivan’s lap warm and comfortable. “I'm not a baby,” I muttered grumpily, leaning into the Galra leader’s stomach. 

“By Galran standards, you most certainly are a cub,” the Galra crooned. It was a reassuring sound, one that made me even drowsier. “Forgive me if I treat you as such.”

“I'm  _ not _ a cub,” I insisted weakly, something within me wanting to just accept the role of child needing to be cared for. Perhaps a small part of me still wished for a childhood, where I didn't have to watch every movement I made or make sure my voice didn't reach a certain tone. 

I just wanted to be allowed to not be perfect all the time.

“Your heart says otherwise, little one,” he said, rubbing a clawed hand over my head. “You are allowed to be a child, Cobalt.”

Maybe I needed to hear that. My body relaxed and I sighed minutely. 

 

* * *

 

My new unofficial official rank was Baby Of The Blade Of Marmora. Passing warriors would pat my head and some would stop and give me a treat before carrying on. Maybe Kolivan had guessed and told the Blade that I had gone without a childhood. Maybe he just told the Blade to treat me as they saw fit, as long as they were respectful.  

Maybe I just exhuded that sort of lost-child vibe.

Either way, I found myself getting thoroughly mothered. Suddenly I couldn't go shopping by myself, Antok usually accompanying me along with Sugar. Suddenly I was barred from training, restricted from practicing without supervision from Kolivan or an officer of the Blade. The most startling change was that, suddenly, my room was moved to be closer to Kolivan’s. ‘In case I needed him’ was his excuse. 

I learned to fall asleep to Kolivan’s voice, the walls too thin to block out his weary late-night calls completely. I learned to sleep through Kolivan cracking my door open and checking on me. 

Most importantly, I 100% exploited my new role. 

I didn't want to sit in a meeting? I would begin to shift restlessly and stare at the door longingly. Kolivan would usually pause the meeting and let me leave, or he would carry me from my spot to his and sit me on his lap. Either option was a good one.

I didn't want to walk? Most warriors were happy to carry me. Sugar would get jealous, of course, but he always got his turn to carry me. 

I got tired of doing something? Walk up to whoever was supervising me and tug at their cloak while hanging my head. They'd get the hint that I wanted to go lay down and usually I'd be carried there if the warrior wasn't particularly busy.

The funniest part was probably getting to spar against the Blades and absolutely astound them with the art of dodging. No one held back when sparring, not even against me (at my request, of course), but the shock that permeated the air whenever I effortlessly dodged around an attack! It was almost like dancing, the twists and turns of my battle style.

Currently, I was sitting on Kolivan’s lap during a boring war meeting. I'd been given crayon-like items and a coloring book that was seemingly meant for Galran cubs. Coloring was fun, though I frowned every time I got a bit of color outside of the lines. I was coloring some sort of nine-legged spider-wolf thing that had a lot of eyes when Antok, in the middle of the discussion, snapped, “That idea is never going to work, quiznak!”

Kolivan’s hands were suddenly over my ears, though they didn't block much sound. “Antok,” he growled, “do not forget that there is a cub in the room.”

What the fuck.


	5. Chapter 5

I sat moodily on Ulaz’ lab table, glaring at all of the beeping machines.

“That was an excellent display earlier!” he said excitedly, pushing his contraptions about. “I’ve only ever heard of Moxie before! Tell me, what is it? Can you control it? How did you come by it? Were you born with it?” 

Ulaz kept babbling questions and attaching wires to me, a couple on my chest and some on my back and even one on the back of my head. I knew he didn’t expect answers yet, so I sighed and leaned back to let him pull off my shoes.

The incident he was talking about was about 10 minutes before I’d been dragged to his lab. I’d been training, with Kolivan, Thace, Ulaz, and Antok (the Dads, as I’d decided) supervising me, when I’d been struck in the side by the training bot. The slice had cut through my shirt and skin deeply, revealing the white of my spine and ribs. One rib had broken off and lodged itself through both lungs.

_ So… this was the end? I thought, staring unsteadily at the blood coating my palms. Already I could feel the tug of the Darkness, crooning and ready to cradle my heart in its cold embrace. My vision spotted with black as Kolivan hurried to turn off the bot.  _

_ “No,” I coughed. I raised my head and glared at the bot. The spots faded from my vision and I straightened up as best I could. I ended up hunched over slightly and slanted towards my injured side. “No, I refuse!” Particles of Darkness surrounded my body in a yellow glow, reaching for the ceiling in their craving to devour whatever had hurt me. “I won’t surrender!” _

_ I summoned Damnum Luna, a short Keyblade made of black crystal, from the depths of my heart, the abnormal adrenaline boost eliminating the pain of my gaping wound. Moxie surged through my body, that determination to continue living, that absolute  _ power _ to fight past death. I was invincible in that moment. Racing forward on feet that were steadier than they should have been, I sliced through the bot in the same move that I was trying to master when I got the injury. _

_ Wires sparked and the top half of the robot whirred as it separated from the bottom half. Breathing heavily, I watched muzzily as the bot disappeared into the floor of the training deck. That surge of Moxie was beginning to die down, restoring my body to normal. My rib carefully dislodged itself and hooked back into place, the holes in my lungs closing up as though it’d never happened. The gaping hole in my side slowly closed, the flesh knitting back together with only a faint scar to show I’d ever been almost gutted. _

_ I slumped to the floor, laughing giddily as the adrenaline left me. I could hear the Dads rushing down to the deck. For now, I was fine and alive. That alone made my giggling louder. _

Ulaz dug his claws into the sides of his chair, grinning. His solid yellow eyes were alight with excitement. “Can you access Moxie again? I want to see if I can get any readings off of it.”

I shrugged. “Sorry, Ulaz. I don’t think I can. That’s only the fourth time Moxie has directly saved me from death.”

“Directly?” Ulaz scribbled onto his holopad. “What else have you used Moxie for?”

I leaned back and pulled at the wires on my chest, fidgeting as I talked. “Moxie gives me the power to fight past death, as you saw. But it’s a constant force in my life. It gives me the power to alter the timeline after death. It- I make these sort of ‘SAVE points’. Those SAVE points lock the timeline in place. I can SAVE whenever I want, because Moxie is always flowing through me. Big bursts of it, like what happened on the deck, is a direct action. When I die, I can ‘RELOAD’ to my last SAVE point or I can ‘RESET’ directly back to the beginning of battle. RELOADing is more for…” I fumbled for words, tapping my fingernails against the metal of the lab table. “RELOADing is more for accidents, like… like making a wrong move in a diplomatic meeting. Or eating something that my body can’t process. Or getting killed from a stealth attack.”

“I see, I see,” Ulaz nodded importantly. He continued writing, presumably in Galran since I couldn’t read it. Also the writing kind of looked like squares with fancy swirls in the middle. “Is that how you always know what to say?”

“Usually. Sometimes I get it right on the first try.” I pulled the wires off with a  _ pop! _ The noise was satisfying as fuck.

“Can you come back from death no matter what?” Ulaz leaned forward with a calm smile. He didn’t want to overwhelm me, it seemed. “Are there conditions?”

“I can come back no matter what,” I said. “I could throw myself out of the airlock  _ right now _ and come back. I could have Sugar eat my entire body and I could come back. There’s only one condition, and it’s one I’ve never had to worry about.” I leaned forward too, grinning with teeth bared. Darkness released itself from between my teeth, hissing out of my mouth. I opened my jaws, letting the gaseous Darkness escape and curl lovingly around my eyes. “The person who has the power to SAVE, RELOAD, and RESET must have the greatest amount of Moxie in the current timeline.”

I leaned back and batted the Darkness away, twisting the tendrils around my hands and letting them form one large tendril. 

“Incredible,” the doctor whispered.

“As far as I’ve ever known, I’m the one with the most Moxie,” I shrugged. “Since I have the most, I’m the only one who can utilize it. Sugar’s the only other person I know who has Moxie too.”

“What can Sugar do with Moxie?” 

“Not much,” I hummed. I pulled my shirt back on and deliberated on my words. I hadn’t SAVEd recently… Oh well. “But if I ever decide not to come back for whatever reason- if I was pulled into the Darkness too quickly, if I got too confused, any reason at all- the power of Moxie passes on to Sugar. Sugar would be able to bring me back, and then the power would pass back to me.”

“Has that ever happened?” The Galra doctor was  _ really _ interested in Moxie… Did he hope to harness it himself? Or harvest it like a precious resource?

“Only once,” I laughed, relaxing. No need to let those thoughts bother me until I had to be an adult again. I could let myself be a child for now, until I had to return to the world outside this galaxyworld. “I got snared by the Darkness as soon as I collapsed. Sugar took a couple of hours to realize that I couldn’t RELOAD myself, and then it took him another day or two to figure out how to RELOAD. He hates it.”

“Thank you, Cobalt,” Ulaz purred. He licked at my hair, ignoring my scrunched up face as he did so. “This was very helpful. Tell Kolivan that I’ll be in my lab for the next couple of vargas, hm?”

“Sure, Ulaz.” I slid off of the table and headed for the door. I paused and looked back at him, grinning mischievously. “By the way, Ulaz, you have talre juice on your face from lunch still.”

 

* * *

 

“Get back here you brat!” Antok shouted. Without his boots, the giant Galra had little grip on the floor and with the twisting I was doing he couldn't catch me. 

Because I had his boots.  They were heavy and far too big for me, but I loved the clunking sound they made against the floor as I ran. I burst into the main hall and jumped for a pillar.

“Haha!” I shouted happily. “You can't catch me without your shoes! The Galra’s greatest weakness, the lack of traction on their feet!” 

I scurried up the pillar deftly, the traction on the soles of Antok’s boots helping me immensely. Antok skidded to a halt, grabbing the pillar to stop his movement.

“That’s why we have boots, little one!” he called up at me. “Please return them to me.”

“You’ll have to catch me-!” I yelped abruptly as I lost my grip and tumbled down. 

Antok caught me in his arms. I could have sworn he was smiling behind his mask. “I believe I have fulfilled your requirements.”

I grumbled as I handed him back his shoes.

 

* * *

 

 

Since it’d been proven that I couldn’t die (at least not permanently). Kolivan felt better about sending me out on higher-level missions. He still worried and mothered me to death, of course, but I could go to places other than the trading moon. Sometimes he sent me on undercover missions to ships controlled by the Galra Empire. I’d get in, cloaked in Darkness, and just wreak havoc. Destroy the engine, the getaway pods, any ships in the holding bay. I’d make Empire ships dead in space, unable to move and unable to evacuate. If there were prisoner cells (and usually there were) I’d call up Kolivan and get them away safely.

Any Galra soldiers I hadn’t killed on my rampage were left to rot.

I never told Kolivan that I sometimes missed a couple of soldiers. I never told him that there were still live warriors on the ship. But I would tell Sugar, and then he’d disappear for a couple of hours and come back significantly less hungry.

It wasn’t my problem, in any case.


	6. Chapter 6

I shivered.

Though my room was warm and my bed soft, it felt inexplicably cold and foreboding. Sugar had gone with Antok on a mission, infiltrating the Empire for information, and so I was alone in my room. Gathering my blanket in my arms, I creaked open my door and headed for Kolivan’s room. The light spilled out from under his door, proving he was still awake, but still I hesitated to knock upon his door. Wouldn’t it bother Kolivan to have his door knocked upon this late?

In the next moment, when I looked back to my room, a tremor ran up my spine. For whatever reason, the room felt malicious. The dark had never bothered me, not after spending 16 years in it, but the dark had never felt like what my room emanated in that split second. It was as though a predator lurked in my room, one that I couldn’t defeat, waiting for me to return so that it could swallow me whole.

I knocked on the door.

“Enter,” he called. I pushed open his door and whimpered, trembling as though I’d just come from a snowstorm. Kolivan sat up straighter at his desk, immediately concerned. He seemed to have been doing some sort of paperwork on his holo-tablet, but he pushed that aside the moment I entered his room. “What happened? Are you alright?” His voice, before having been full of exhaustion, was now tight with alarm. I’d never knocked on his door before, and for me to do so now must have sent him into Full Dad Mode.

I appreciated it, in that moment.

I could only shake my head, clutching my blanket to my chest and trying not to break out crying. Kolivan stood from his desk and picked me up like one would a small scared child, holding me tight to himself and carrying me to his bed. The Galra sat down and placed me on his lap, one clawed hand petting my hair soothingly.

“What happened?” he asked again, gently. His other hand rubbed comforting circles into my back, pressing hard enough that I knew he had little experience in this area.

“I had a nightmare,” I whispered. It seemed silly now, to bother Kolivan over a nightmare, but I’d woken up with my heart pounding and my mind convinced that I was in danger. I clutched at Kolivan’s uniform desperately, wanting to assure myself that there was no monster waiting to torture me. Hopelessly, I longed for the kind of comfort a child would receive.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” he rumbled. “Was it a memory?”

“Not a memory,” I mumbled. “Everything was dark. I couldn’t breathe and I was all alone… Sugar didn’t answer my call…”

“Sugar would not do that,” Kolivan soothed. He gently pulled my blanket out from between us and draped it over my shoulders. “He answers your calls whenever he hears them. And I’ve noticed that he can hear them from farther away than should be possible.” The Galran leader gently laid me down on his bed, tucking me in like I really was a young child. “Sleep now. I will be here when you wake.”

“You promise?” I whimpered. I felt so weak, so worthless, asking for a promise from someone who was surely very busy. But I couldn’t help it- I wanted to believe in the comfort he gave me.

“I promise.”

He sat down at his desk, picked up his writing utensil (which resembled some sort of 3D-printing pen), and began his work again. The rhythmic tapping of the pen on his tablet was like a lullaby to my tired mind, reminding me of the way that Sugar used to tap his nails on rocks to help me sleep when we were still in the Darkness Realm. I fell asleep to that tapping; any time I woke up, panicked and unsure, Kolivan was there still tapping away at his work.

In those moments, when I was unsure of where I was, I could have sworn that Kolivan turned around to look at me and make sure I was safely in his bed still.

 

* * *

 

I ended up ill with a fever once the artificial night cycle had passed. It was so  _ cold _ despite the heavy blanket on top of me. My head swam and getting out of Kolivan’s bed proved impossible. I couldn’t even sit up. Kolivan, having been watching over me the whole night, took me to Ulaz as soon as he realized that I was sick.

“His temperature is 351.78 darvas,” Ulaz reported, taking an odd thermometer out of my mouth. The doctor frowned and went rummaging through his cabinets. “He should only be 300 darvas. I’ll see if I can find a fever reliever, but I’m not sure what will react with his system.”

“Acetaminophen or ibuprofen would work,” I croaked. My voice cracked as I spoke and I winced in pain. 

Kolivan patted my head.

“We may have some ibuprofen, but acetaminophen certainly not,” Ulaz told me. “Acetaminophen is highly toxic to many species, including Galra.”

“Good to know,” I muttered.

“Here we are. 1,932 reevors of ibuprofen,” Ulaz said, placing a large white pill in my hands.

I SAVEd and then popped the pill in my mouth. “Thanks. I'll let you know if it kills me.”

Ulaz looked slightly off-put by that notion but he nodded politely. “Stay in bed and remember to keep hydrated,” he told me. 

Kolivan took that as ‘Cobalt can't walk anywhere’ and carried me back to his room.

“Don't you need to sleep?” I asked, hiding my mouth as I coughed.

“Galra are able to stay awake for many cycles without rest,” Kolivan said, purring. The purring, I thought, might be instinctual. Fucking hell, I'd been  _ adopted  _ by a damn war veteran.

“Just cause you can doesn't mean you should,” I pointed out.

“It is not detrimental to Galra as old as I,” he said simply. “For a younger Galra like Thace or Antok, it would be. And especially for a tiny cub as young as you, it is.”

So I went to sleep, rolling my eyes and letting Kolivan lick my hair.

 

Update: it killed me.

I woke up with my lungs collapsing and my heartbeat faltering. My fingers were numb and my legs were steadily fading from my awareness.. I couldn't breathe and knew that I'd die. So I slit my own throat with my knife (a battered old kitchen knife that Sugar had found for me during the years when my heart was too damaged to summon my Keyblades), despite the clumsiness of my fingers, and woke up in the infirmary with Ulaz again.

I held out the pill. “It's too high a dosage,” I croaked. “Cut it in half.”

Ulaz raised one eyebrow in questioning. “How do you know that?”

“I died, obviously,” I retorted. “Just cut it in half.”

So the doctor cut it in half.

That killed me too. I insisted upon it being cut into fourths. That dosage almost killed me but didn't quite, so I left it.

On the fourth day of being sick (that is, the fourth day in which time actually passed), I'd gotten strong enough to return to training as long as I took frequent breaks. Sugar returned from his mission and immediately fussed, worried.

“I should have been here to take care of you,” he murmured, his guilt pouring over into my body. 

I pulled at one of his ears. “Stop with the guilty feeling,” I groaned dramatically. “I'm going to be fine. You're not melting which means I'm all good.”

“I was too far away,” he whispered. “I only knew you were dying because time kept RELOADing. Antok didn't know why I was so worried about you…”

I sighed. “I'm fine now, Sug’. No more worrying, okay?”

Sugar shuffled his feet, which resembled paws, and sighed too, letting me down onto my feet gently. “Okay. No more worrying.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall tryna get some angst bc i got like 3

Once I was completely better, Kolivan reluctantly let me go back to my own room. Another bed had been added to my room while I had been holed up in Kolivan’s, likely for Sugar, but Sugar apparently disagreed. He picked up the other bed and deposited it next to mine. The two of us had shared a sleeping space for 16 years- a while longer wouldn’t bother me. I shrugged and climbed into bed, curling up towards the wall so that Sugar could wrap his tail around my back and hold me close.

Daintily, like everything he did when touching me, he picked at my face. He had no imperfections to his skin, due to his being made of Darkness instead of organic matter, but still felt the urge to pick at skin. I didn’t mind anyway; his nails had always been sharp and careful. He peeled off small bits of dead skin and plucked at my eyebrows. The white-furred Galra even, gently of course, pulled loose eyelashes from my eyelids. I blinked as he scraped the side of one claw behind my ear. 

“You’re very dirty,” he told me. “Next time you wake up, you’re showering.” Despite that, he leaned his head towards me with his rough tongue out. I lowered my head in turn, rolling my eyes as he began to lap at my skin. “You don’t smell right,” he muttered into my ear. “You smell too much like sickness.”

He rubbed his cheek on me. “I assume you’re scenting me, then?” I asked drily.

“Of course,” he sniffed. Then he giggled against my skin, his high-pitched voice pleasant against my skin as always. Sugar’s teeth glided against my skin as he giggled, smooth and surprisingly cool. I had always expected that Sugar’s mouth would be hot like my own, but perhaps I shouldn’t have been surprised- he didn’t generate heat like I did. “I’m just covering the sick scent with my own,” he explained once his giggling fit had subsided. “Then you’ll smell correct again.”

“Whatever makes you happy, Sugar,” I chuckled, snuggling into his chest. Sugar tugged a blanket over my body as I slowly drifted off.

 

* * *

 

It all crashed down on me while on a mission with Kolivan and Sugar. It all happened so fast that I couldn’t prevent it at all.

The mission should have been simple.

I was the ticket onto the ship- with my Keyblades, it was far too easy to unlock the door and just walk right in. Sugar was the defending force- his body caught bullets and dissolved them without letting anything pass through and quickly closing up any punctures. Kolivan was the “getter”- he was the one getting the information that we needed. It was all going so  _ well. _ Sugar was taking out enemies one by one while I maintained a Protect spell around Kolivan. Drawing a rune on my palm by stabbing the tip of my knife into it helped keep my mana full. 

And then it went to fucking shit.

My barrier shattered into pieces with one well-placed blow from a commander no one had noticed until it was too late. Mana depleting from the blow, I staggered and fell.

“Cobalt!” Kolivan barked, pulling his flash drive from the interface. He tried to grab my arm and pull me up, but his attention was taken by a lower-ranking officer blasting through the doorway opposite of the interface. A chunk of rock hit me in the head and I fell into odd, disjointed memories. A memory of Father hitting me in the face with a brick, causing a bloody and broken nose; Father locking me in the broom closet; Father smacking me on the back of the head; Father’s cruelty; Father; Father; Father.

I flinched as the commander leaned down with a cruel grin. Distantly I saw his purple fur and yellow eyes; more closely I saw Father’s silver hair and cruel orange eyes. 

“Well, well,” he rasped at me, “what do we have here? A little child a long way from home.”

_ “Well, well,” Father sneered at me, “what do we have here? A little disobedient, ungrateful brat.” _

I tucked my head protectively into my arms as he reached for me. “Don’t you worry, little one,” he laughed cruelly. “I’ll make sure you get back home.”

_ Father reached for my hair. “Don’t you worry, Cobalt,” he crooned in a false sweetness. “I’ll bring you back home.” _

My eyes were wide as I watched the commander’s hand inch closer and closer to my head. I couldn’t move; I could only watch with tears filling my eyes. His claws brushed my hair.

Then his hand disappeared, knocked away by a blur of white. In my panicked and dissociative state, I couldn’t recognize who it was that had saved me. A dull buzzing of heated insults and scathing remarks filled my ears. No other sounds were apparent.  _ Failure, worthless child, useless child, no-good brat, ungrateful whelp, disgusting child, unworthy of wielding a wooden sword, stupid brat, I should have killed you-! _

A white claw came towards me. 

I sucked in a breath and  _ screamed _ .

“Mother!” I wailed, tears falling freely and I backed away from the confused alien in front of me.

Immediately below me, my shadow darkened and stretched and  _ tore _ , thick tendrils of Darkness pooling up. Some cradled me, wrapping around me to protect me from sight; others poised for attack. 

She had answered my call, as she always did. The Darkness Realm had heard me, even though I was so far away.

I sobbed uncontrollably. 

 

* * *

I didn’t understand when I woke up in Sugar’s arms on the ship. I didn’t understand why he looked so worried, why he sagged in relief when I blinked open my eyes and looked at him suspiciously.

“Sugar? What’s up?” I glanced around, noting the way that he cradled me to his chest. Odd splotches of inky Darkness stained his fur. Beneath those patches of Darkness I could see pure black skin that shimmered as though it’d been painted with glitter, a patch of his true form. “Why are we back on board? Did Kolivan get the information he needed?”

He laughed humorlessly. “I forgot,” he sighed, “that you don’t usually remember what happens…” He shook himself minutely and sat down on the floor. My feet dangled a good couple of inches above the ground. “You had an episode and ended up summoning the Darkness Realm.”

“I didn’t- no one got  _ hurt _ , right?” I asked.

“No, no!” he quickly reassured me. “I talked her down, let her know what happened, and she let me pick you up. You were only out for half an hour or so.”

“As always, your sense of time in impeccable,” I murmured lethargically. 

Sugar let me go back to sleep, understanding that episodes always took a lot out of me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so did yall catch that mention of sugars true form


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres some more angst but also! sugars true form revealed completely at last

Kolivan treated me more… delicately, after the episode.

It had faded quickly from my mind, those episodes never tending to stick in my mind more than a couple of hours, but it lingered in Kolivan’s. His hand would hesitate above my head now before touching down to pet my hair. He checked in more often while I slept, and didn’t send me on missions where I came into contact with anyone outside of the trading moon. 

It kind of annoyed me.

“Kolivan,” I pouted, crossing my arms and leaning against his doorway.

“Hello, Cobalt,” he greeted me. “What is the matter?”

“You don’t need to treat me so delicately.” I got right to the point. “Those episodes aren’t very common and it’s hard to get them going. It’s just residual trauma.”

“Residual trauma is not a matter to take lightly,” Kolivan answered. His face softened a little. “I merely wish to keep you safe, as I would any cub.”

“Kolivan, I’m 18. I can take care of myself.” I figured I’d get it out of the way now, before it would really hurt. Before I got too attached.

Kolivan’s eyes widened. “You’re far younger than I thought!” He stood up and bowed to me. “I apologize for sending you on that mission. I should not have had you come.”

“What?!” I wrinkled my nose. “How long do Galra live, if 18 is  _ younger _ than you thought I was?!”

“Galra live for up to 1000 decaphoebs,” Kolivan answered. “For you to be only 18 decaphoebs was not expected…”

This debate was going to be the longest one of my entire life.

 

* * *

 

So I convinced Kolivan that I was still old enough to go on dangerous missions, especially considering my power of Moxie. He decided that Moxie was the reason that I acted as old as I did, seeming to ignore my arguments that actually I was an adult. 

Oh well, I supposed. As long as he didn’t think I was really young anymore.

And maybe I did act older than I was supposed to. I’d lived a much longer time than any other person; I’d lived multiple lives using my ability to RELOAD. My mind had matured while my body had not.

I sighed and slumped down on my bed. Sugar made a sort of purring noise from underneath me, like the sound a cat made when you startled it while it was sleeping. It was cute.

“What's wrong?” he yawned, rolling over and gently pushing me between him and the wall. 

“Apparently,” I said sourly, “Galra live for a really long time and I'm  _ younger _ than Kolivan thought.”

“It's okay, Cobalt,” Sugar crooned. He nuzzled the top of my head, a gesture which caused my shoulders to relax somewhat. “He saw your side eventually, didn't he?”

“I am still allowed on missions,” I muttered. “But he likely sees me as a very fragile child now, more than he did before.”

“Well, that’s something you just can’t help.” The white Galra tugged me close, cuddling me to his chest. He’d removed his shirt, I noticed faintly. Galra were apparently very soft-furred on their stomachs and chests, which explained their abundance of armor. Soft fur and vulnerable stomachs made for a need for armor focused on their torsos. “Besides,” Sugar murmured into my hair, “is it really so bad to let others take care of you?”

Was it?

 

* * *

 

Yes, it totally was.

The moment I let Thace do one thing for me, suddenly all the Dads were trying to do near everything for me. It was awful and maddening, and I had to close up completely once again.

“I trusted you, and you betrayed me,” I told Sugar next time we were alone in my room. 

“What do you mean?” He took on a hurt expression, and I realized he really didn't understand.

“The Dads have been trying to do everything for me,” I explained. “It's annoying, and it's all because I trusted you and let Thace take care me a whole one time.”

“A whole one time huh?” Sugar hummed, very obviously trying not to laugh.

I sniffed and put my nose haughtily in the air. “Yes, one entire time.”

That lasted like .2 seconds because we both broke out laughing immediately after.

 

* * *

 

“ _ Don't _ tell me what to do, Ulaz,” I snapped at the doctor as I dodged a well-aimed kick from the training bot. “I know my limits better than you ever will.”

Ulaz sidestepped a punch from me. He'd actually been the one to turn on the bot, in the hopes of distracting me, but I was perfectly capable of multitasking.

This all started because Ulaz thought he knew best for me and tried to get me to nap. No big deal, except I'd literally woken up like an hour ago at that point. So I was rightfully pissed.

And I was pretty damn cranky considering I hadn't woken up fully when he told me to go back to sleep.

“A growing cub needs a lot of rest!” he protested, jumping to the side to avoid the elongated nails from my left hand. My left hand, being made of Darkness from the elbow down, wasn't as organic as it looked.

For some reason, his cub comment  _ really _ pissed me off. I bared my teeth, liquid Darkness billowing from my mouth and dripping from my tear ducts as rage built within me.  _ “I… am not… a... cub!” _ I shouted, real tears forcing their way past the oozing Darkness and pooling in my eyes. I swept my arm, hard and fast, into Ulaz’ chest.

He went flying into the wall on the opposite side of the deck.

The training bot made a move for me, and that… wasn't the best choice it could have made. I grabbed it by the arm, judo-flipped it over my head, and tore it in half. Again.

“Oh jeez,” I heard Sugar whisper from up above, where Kolivan had been observing my fight with Ulaz. “He's going into full Dreamer mode…”

Skeletal, spectral wings opened from my back, appearing from nowhere. My old scars throbbed with slight pain as Darkness coursed through my body.

“I am  _ COBALT DREAMER _ !” I shouted. “You can't tell me what to do! I am the master of this pitiful timeline!”

Raising my hands above my head, I began to ready  _ WORLDBREAKER.  _ A small but steadily growing ball of destructive magic appeared between my hands. It lifted me into the air slightly, the Darkness feeding my anger towards Ulaz into an out of control beast.

“Cobalt! Don't!” Sugar cried out, rushing towards me.

I glanced down at him, a strange sort of sorrow filling my chest. He was the only one fun to play with anymore… Even so, I bared my teeth at him. “Why…? Let me ERASE this world, Sugar, and be done with it!”

“Cobalt…” Sugar murmured. The closer he got, the more his Galran disguise peeled away. “Please… this isn't like you.” He reached one glittering black hand out towards my chest.

“What…? What are you doing?” I demanded. The white fur vanished, and he was there. Pale, ivory skin splotched with large patches of glittering, ebony-black. Fluffy, shoulder-length white hair and wide, innocent, pleading yellow eyes. If it weren't for the feeling of Darkness surrounding him, he'd be a human. “Stop that!” Tears began to pool in my eyes. “Stop looking at me that way!”

_ WORLDBREAKER _ disappeared.

Sugar remained silent. He placed one hand on my chest, just resting it there. The Darkness within me reacted to his touch, writhing and seething. It didn't want to let go.

“...Do you know why I'm doing this?” I asked, hanging my head. “Why I'm fighting so hard…?”

“Tell me, Cobalt,” Sugar pleaded.

“It's because I  _ care _ about everyone, Sugar!” My fists clenched at my sides. “I can't let them in… I can't get attached again… So please… just let me win! This is the price that I have to pay if I wanna keep you around me…”

“It's okay to get attached, Cobalt,” Sugar whispered, grabbing my hands lightly in his. His skin was soft, as always, but it seemed… warm. Sugar didn't give off warmth, but… “There's no price. Not anymore. “

“I'm so afraid, Sugar,” I whispered. I could feel the resolve and anger draining out of me, until i was only a teenager with too much power and responsibility once again. “I feel like I'm on my own again. I don't want to be alone again…”

“You don't have to be,” he promised. “Everyone is here for you, even if you make mistakes.”

Everyone, huh…?

I dropped into Sugar's waiting arms, my wings fading away and all of the Darkness draining from me in the form of inky tears. He caught me easily, his strength having remained despite his change in form. I held onto him, even as weak and exhausted as I was.

“I just want to hold on to a friend…” I murmured muzzily. I could hear Kolivan helping Ulaz up; it seemed that I hadn't harmed the doctor too badly- Galra were incredibly defensive-based.

I faded from consciousness just as I heard Sugar begin to explain why I'd reacted the way I had to being told what to do.

_ My plan… _


	9. Cobalt's Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW MENTIONS OF DEATH, VIOLENCE, XENOPHOBIA, SUICIDE

“Sugar.” I looked over at him, sitting with his legs splayed out in front of him and leaning back onto his palms in the field of dead, crumbling purple flowers. His white, shoulder-length hair flowed in the soft, constant breeze of the Darkness Realm. Pale skin splattered with large patches of glittering black reflected the pallor light of the false moon. He looked over at me curiously, yellow eyes wide with innocence and curiosity.

“What is it, Cobalt?” Sugar looked about my age, but his voice sounded more like a young child’s. He towered over me, even with both of us sitting down, but that was okay. I’d long since accepted it.

“If you could have anything, what would you want most?”

“Huh?” Sugar blinked, and then smiled cheerfully, though he held a bit of confusion about his expression. “Why do you ask?” 

“Just asking,” I said calmly- I’d been through this scenario before. I wanted to know what he’d say, if his answer would stay the same even though I’d changed the circumstances.

Sugar laughed and scratched the back of his head. “Anything, huh…? Well, if I could have anything… I’d want to see the Light Realm.”

His answer had stayed the same after all. I smiled then, and said, “Okay.”

“Huh?”

“Okay. I’ll take you to see the Light Realm.”

He shot up excitedly. “What? Really?”

“Really.” I held out my right hand, my flesh hand, with my pinkie facing him. “I pinkie promise.”

“Pinkie promise…?” Poor Sugar. I forgot that he didn’t know about pinkie promises this time around. I’d have to explain it again, if only so that he wouldn’t look so lost.

“It’s a special type of promise. A pinkie promise can’t ever be broken,” I told him seriously. “Or else you die. Here, hold out your pinkie.”

I showed him how to wrap his pinkie finger around mine, and he smiled. It was wonderful to see him smile. He’d been kind of sad lately… I couldn’t bear to see him so sad ever again.

“You promise? For real?”

“I promise. For real.” I held my hand up to the sky. “I’ll show you the Light Realm.”

He held his hand up too, the one closest to me. It was cute.

This time, my plan would work. Sugar would finally get to see the sunlight.

 

* * *

“We just have to force a rip!” I shouted, planting my feet in the sand. The wind was brutal, pushing me back bit by bit. “We don’t have a lot of time!”

“Okay, Cobalt,” Sugar breathed into my ear. “I believe you. I always will.”

Together, we forced our way towards the wavering barrier between the Darkness and the Light. With some difficulty, I pulled my knife from my jeans and held it in front of me.

“Just… a little… more!” I gasped, and sliced downwards. My knife tore through the barrier with ease, forcing a tear in the barrier that would soon close. Surprised, I stumbled through it. Sugar followed quickly enough.

 

The sunlight was… so warm.

I hadn't seen the Light Realm in such a long time. I'd forgotten how much I'd loved the outside until it'd been ripped away from me. Looking over, Sugar's eyes were filled with wonder.

“It's so beautiful,” he whispered.

“Come on,” I said, grabbing his arm. “I know this area. I want to show you my favorite flowers.”

“What are they?” he asked excitedly, following me happily.

I brought him through the winding dirt path, teaching him to read the signs at the crossroads so that he wouldn't get lost. He saw the flowers before I did, his bicolored skin glittering like a star in the bright sunlight.

“Oh, they're beautiful!” he cried, falling to his knees at the patch. They were tiny white flowers clumped together at the bus, and I loved the smell. “What are they called?”

“It's baby’s breath,” I said lovingly. Sugar was my best friend and the only source of company I'd had for a long time. Of course I loved him.

Then there was a clatter behind me.

I looked back to see a woman, unfamiliar, staring at the two of us with a metal pot at her feet. Water and potatoes and carrots sloshed out of it. Her eyes were wide with fear and shock. Then she screamed, “Monster!”

Her scream alerted others. Dread sinking its claws into me, I realized that I'd made a terrible mistake.

“Sugar, we have to go,” I said quickly, grabbing his arm and pulling.

“But Cobalt-?” he whined as I dragged him away. A bundle of the flowers dropped to the ground.

“Go, go!” I pushed him in front of me, shoving at his back. “Back to-!”

An arrow went through my chest.

Gasping in pain, I stumbled and fell to my knees. Blood soaked into my red shirt, turning it darker and more maroon colored.

“Cobalt!” Sugar reached q hand out for me. Tears filled his eyes. No, no, no, this wasn't… 

This wasn't supposed to happen!

“Go without me!” I coughed, grasping at the arrow.

An arrow hit him in the head.

He dissipated into dust.

No.

No no  _ no! _

I could hear the humans getting closer.

With tears in my eyes, I pulled the arrow from my chest and stabbed myself in the neck.

_ Just let it all RESET! _

 

* * *

I was… decidedly warier the next time around.

“Stay here, okay?” I told Sugar. “I just have to talk to them.”

“Okay, Cobalt!” Sugar smiled at me, and I wondered how anyone could think he was a monster. If it weren't for the feeling of Darkness surrounding him, no one would know he wasn't human.

I smiled back, careful to keep my face relaxed. I could feel Sugar watching me as I walked down the path by myself. 

“Hello!” I called, waving. The farmer who'd shot the arrow before greeted me kindly, as did the woman with the pot. “My friend, Sugar, is up there-” I pointed up the path without revealing his location- “and I wanted to bring him down. He's never seen the flowers, he's from the Dark-”

“The Dark?” the farmer spat. “That friend o’ yers issa monster!”

“Monster?” the woman echoed. Her eyes hardened.

Cries of ‘monster?!’ filled the path. No! Not again…!

The farmer grabbed my arm.

“No, Cobalt!” Sugar cried, jumping from his hiding spot and rushing to save me.

“Sugar! Go back, it's not safe!” I struggled to free myself.

“Monster!”

“It's the monster!”

“How did it escape?!”

“Kill it!”

“Sugar, go!” I begged.

An arrow struck him in the throat. He vanished into a pool of murky, dying Darkness.

“Good shot!”

“Got it!”

“Nice kill!”

“You're free now, child.”

Tears filled my eyes. These people… they killed him when all he'd done was try to save me…!

“Why don't we get you cleaned up, hm?” an old woman asked me, sounding kind.  _ But I knew it was all  _ **_fake._ ** “Now that you're free from that monster, you must be so confused…”

How could she be so  **_calm_ ** about it?!

“You people…” I whispered. My hands trembled. “You people… are the  _ real _ monsters…!”

For the first time in a long time, my Keyblades answered my call. Anger thrummed in them. One of them, I couldn’t remember which one, cut through the old woman like she wasn't even there. I swung at the humans, tearing them apart easily. I swung again. Again. Again. And again.

_ “You all deserve this!” _ I laughed, Darkness pooling in my body and draining out through my mouth and tear ducts.  **_“YOU FUCKING MONSTERS! HE ONLY WANTED TO SEE THE LIGHT REALM! YOU ALL DESERVE TO ROT AND BURN IN HELL!”_ **

When the last one was dead, I brought Damnum Luna, a short Keyblade made of black crystal with a jagged crescent moon for the teeth, up to my chest and

plunged it through.

_ Those humans… they showed me just who the real monsters were in this world... _

 

* * *

This was my last chance. The only chance I had to show Sugar the Light Realm… the only option I'd yet to try. And yet, this option was new.

Strangely, Sugar had been remembering bits from past RELOADs. He got more… protective.

“This is it,” I laughed. “We only need one other human heart!” I pushed Damnum Luna towards the center of the wind, like I had done with my knife so long ago. I stabbed it in, tearing open the portal. Finally, victory…!

The effort was too much. My heart began to shatter into pieces… no…!

Before everything went black, I saw a glittering black hand reach out for me.

 

* * *

 

 

 

My plan… underwent some changes. As I faded, Sugar grabbed my heart and melded it to his body. We became one being, a creature of Darkness with a heart of Light. A powerful monster capable of destroying everything.

We ripped a portal to the Light Realm open so easily. Light blue hair flowed gently in a nonexistent breeze as two light green eyes peered at our surroundings. In our arms was my limp human body, stained with blood and, strangely, seeming very small. 

Sugar placed my body on a bed of baby's breath. Villagers gathered around, brandishing weapons and shouting insults. They shouted “ Filthy monster! Go back to Hell!” at us.

I readied  _ CHAOS SHOCKER. _

_ It can't be just one,  _ I told Sugar grimly.  _ They  _ **_all_ ** _ have to die.  _

But…

Sugar held me back.

He powered down our body, gathering up my human corpse as blows fell upon us. Even as a being of great strength, with the power to raze this world to the ground and take every heart for ourselves…

Sugar did not let me fight back.

He brought the two of us back up the path to the portal, entering it without even so much as resentment.

_ Why…? Why did you stop me, Sugar?  _ I needed to know his answer. We were quickly fading away...

**_I had to… I couldn't just…_ ** His voice trailed off, guilt choking him. And I understood. How could I have expected someone as kind as Sugar to go through with my plan?

_...I'll see you at the beginning, okay Sugar? _ Even if he wouldn't remember any of this, I still needed to make sure he knew he'd see me again.

**_...Okay, Cobalt. See you at the beginning._ **

We faded from existence.

And so I began time over again, just once more…

 

* * *

“Cobalt?” Sugar murmured. “I'm sorry.”

“Sorry?” I blinked, confused. “Why?”

“I made your plan fail…” Sugar sounded… strangely guilty. His voice had changed after our last RESET, become deeper and more fitting to a teenager, and he had begun to remember all RELOADs as a result of absorbing my heart. He must have gained some of my Moxie. Still… why would he be sorry?

“You didn't cause my plan to fail, Sugar,” I told him, shaking my head. “My heart shattering did that. Besides, it… wasn't a good plan. I was desperate.”

Sugar smiled and hummed a small tune. “Under the Light Realm, how could we have known that your plan would fall to pieces…?”

I smiled, warm and genuine. “Exactly, Sugar.”


	10. Chapter 10

I took to avoiding everyone.

Guilt and shame had crept into my body, corrupting every interaction I had. Ulaz especially was avoided. Every time I saw him in my late wanderings of the base, he would smile and put his hand on my shoulder and chat amicably with me.

I couldn't understand how he was so happy to see me.

I had almost  _ killed him  _ because I was a stupid childish idiot. How could he even stand to be around me? So I avoided him, pretending that it didn't hurt to see him. I knew he knew I was avoiding him, but…

I just couldn't.

I moved my room to an abandoned wing of the base. Only Sugar knew where I had holed away, and he brought me food and water every couple of hours. 

“Everyone misses you, ya know,” Sugar told me. He had returned to his Galran form soon after I'd passed out. He took the full plate of food from last night and replaced it with a new plate. I hadn't eaten anything in days, so I didn't know why he persisted in bringing me food. “Kolivan and Ulaz have been asking me about you.”

I curled up tighter. My blankets shifted as Sugar sat down at my feet. “Sugar,” I mumbled, “I want to let this world continue without me.”

“I know.” He'd been very upset the first time I'd said that. “But you can't give up yet.”

I didn't respond. Sugar talked to me for another couple of minutes, but soon had to leave. Otherwise, I'd be found and I'd made it very clear that I didn't want to be found.

Was it wrong to miss being around everyone when all I'd wanted from the start was to be left alone?

 

* * *

“Cobalt!” 

Ulaz’ voice had me freezing in place. I flinched and ducked my head down, hunching my shoulders and bringing my arms up to my chest defensively.

“Cobalt, how are you?” the doctor asked, thankfully refraining from touching me. “I haven't seen you for a few quintents.”

“I'm fine,” I forced out. “Sorry, I have somewhere to be-”

“Cobalt.” Ulaz’ hand gripped my shoulder. I flinched and he let go. “I know that you aren't okay. Sugar told us you haven't been eating.”

“I'm fine,” I muttered, trying to will myself to move. But I couldn't.

“Cobalt, I'm not angry with you. Sugar explained your past briefly to us- I apologize for making you feel like I didn't trust you.”

This had to be a dream. Ulaz was surely angry that I'd attacked him… right?

Well. It didn't matter if it was a dream or not, because I broke down crying. “Sorry” left my mouth so many times that I lost track.

“There, there,” the doctor said, patting my head. “Everything will be okay.” He picked me up then, and immediately frowned. “You're going to be having big meals for a while to regain your weight, you know. It's not healthy to be this light.”

I fell asleep before I could respond with more than a soft ‘mmhm’.

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t a dream. I woke up slowly, leaning against something warm and firm. My head was turned to the side to rest on said firm thing, despite my chest facing it. As my senses cleared, I realized that what I was leaning on was vibrating with sound; I was  _ on Ulaz’ lap, leaning against Ulaz, with my cheek pressed to Ulaz’ chest. _

I kept my breathing slow and even, never opening my eyes and resisting the urge to stretch.

“Poor cub,” I heard Antok murmur. “Are you sure that’s true?”

“Of course it’s true,” Sugar replied softly. “He showed me himself.”

“To think that anyone would simply mistreat their own child like that…” Ulaz shuddered beneath me, and my fingers tightened in his shirt involuntarily. The doctor smoothed one hand over my head briefly before dropping it back to the side. “It’s despicable.”

“Cobalt tries not to let it bother him,” Sugar sighed. “But I know that it does. It still hurts for him to think about getting close to any parental figures.”

“Is that why he has such a large burn on his shoulder? Because his father  _ lit him on fire?” _ Kolivan’s growl was barely suppressed, and I just barely managed not to jump. I hadn’t known he was there, listening. Still, just what had Sugar told them?

“Yeah, it is.” There was a period of silence before Sugar said, “He really did get close to you all. I think that’s one of the reasons why he hid away. He couldn’t stand the guilt.”

“It’s perfectly understandable.” That was Thace’s voice. “Is there anything we need to know, so that we can make sure he doesn’t do this again?”

“Are you asking for his triggers?” Sugar sounded vaguely confused. “Cause I can give you those… or, well, the ones I know.”

“His triggers, if you would,” Kolivan hummed. “And anything else that might cause this sort of behavior in the future.”

“Okay.” One of Sugar’s hands touched my arm, gently, as though making sure I was still asleep. “For starters, try not to raise your voices. His father always yelled at him, so it’s best not to do that. Uh… leaning in towards his face is a big no. And don’t reach for his hair unless he knows you’re reaching for him. Don’t grab him in general if he doesn’t know, I guess. There’s more, I’m sure of that, but… not even he knows what they are.”

“That all sounds fairly simple,” Kolivan said. “Is there anything else?”

“Um…” Sugar stalled for a couple of seconds. “About telling him what to do. It’s usually best to phrase it as a question, especially if it’s about something like sleep or eating. He understands orders when faced with combat, but outside of combat it’s damaging to his psyche. And try not to call him a cub to his face. It was always used as an insult before…”

“Understood.” The Dads chatted amongst themselves and Sugar for a couple more minutes, and that was when I decided to feign waking up.

I tensed, pressing my hands against Ulaz’ chest, and made a sort of whining sound. Blinking open blurry eyes, I looked up at the doctor with a small frown. 

“Good mowning, Uyaz…” I yawned. Then I froze.  _ That lisp… _ I hadn’t had that lisp for years! “Sow- Sorry,” I coughed. I hid my burning face behind my hair, which was tangled and needed to be brushed.

There was silence, and then-

“Oh my quiznak that was the  _ cutest _ thing I think I’ve ever heard.” Ulaz’ response had me tensing in embarrassment again. “Are you alright? Feeling okay after that nap?”

“I’m fine,” I said quickly, shifting off of his lap and onto Sugar’s. For his part, Sugar just hummed and hugged me tightly. I always had felt comfortable sitting on Sugar’s lap but never on anyone else’s. “Just tiwed- tired. Just  _ tired _ .”

Kingdom Hearts, I was  _ never _ going to live this down.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp its another chapter

Hours passed, and I’d kind of given up on trying to curb my old lisp. This happened sometimes; something would happen and I’d cry, and then my childish lisp would reappear. The last time that had happened had been during the 16 years in which I’d been trapped in the Darkness Realm, sometime around the final RESET. I could no longer go back past the start of my time in the Darkness Realm, which kind of sucked, but… well, no harm done.

“Pyease,” I begged, reaching up on my tiptoes for the snack that Antok was holding over my head. “Pyease gif me the snack!”

Antok made a sort of cooing noise and gave me the snack, carding his fingers through my hair as I ripped open the small bag of salted slices of potato-like food. I had taken to calling them ‘totato chips’. The giant warrior purred something at me, something I didn't hear because I was crunching on the totatos. He patted me on the head again and sent me out of the kitchen with a small push between my shoulder blades.

Thace scooped me up rather quickly, cradling me like a baby. “Thaaaace,” I whined. I made a whimpering croak of sorts, a noise I'd learned to make that would make any unknowing Galra think I was a very young cub. He almost  _ dropped _ me when I made the noise. 

“Where did you learn to make  _ that _ noise?” His nose was all scrunched up, which was kind of endearing.

“Koyivan,” I said innocently, smiling up at him with my tiny human teeth bared. “It’s usefuy in case I evew get captuwed by ofer Gahwa.” Because the two letters that I currently couldn’t pronounce both showed in up the same word adjacent to each other,, the first letter usually disappeared and the second letter would take precedence.

“Well, it certainly is,” he chuckled. He hefted me up further into his arms, one of his arms beneath my knees curving around the front of my body and the other arm supporting my head and back. “Come on. Ulaz and Sugar are going to a planetside market, and Sugar insisted you go along too.”

I perked up at the words ‘planetside market’. “He pwobab-yee knew that I wanted to go pyanetside.”

“Well, then, off you go!” Thace deposited me outside of the hangar, thankfully letting me run in by myself.

“Thanks, Thace!” I gave him a quick hug. “See you yater!”

“Goodbye, cubling.” He watched me scramble into the hangar and climb into the ship waiting to take off.

Sometimes, I really didn’t mind being doted on.

 

* * *

 

It was so  _ hot _ !

The planet we went to was called something that I couldn’t even pronounce in my own head, let alone put down on paper to try and pronounce phonetically. Sugar did his best to keep me cool, but even his Darkness-made body began to heat up after a while. I pushed the sleeves of my red shirt up, complaining every so often of the heat.

“ _ Uyaz, _ ” I whined, “it’s  _ hot _ .”

“So I’ve been told,” he said distractedly, patting my head. “Maybe we can find a clothing store-”

“Dirty Galra,” a shopkeep spat in our direction. Ulaz ignored them, continuing to search for a clothing store with clothes that would fit my body type, but I could see Sugar’s tail tip twitching. I could  _ feel _ Sugar’s apprehension and desire to become smaller, to be less of a target. And it made me angry.

I growled, a distinctly inhuman sound, and grabbed Sugar’s hand firmly. He startled, looking down at me with wide solid-yellow eyes. I pretty much crushed his hand in my grip, though I was vaguely sure that he wasn’t even uncomfortable. The white Galra wrapped his tail around my torso, kind of like a leash.

“Cobalt, Sugar,” Ulaz called, breaking my attention away from the shopkeep that I’d been about to glare down. “Come on, I found a shop.”

We began to trek over, me walking in front of Sugar, when his tail suddenly loosed from around me. I turned to see that  _ same shopkeep _ in front of him, holding a knife. Sugar was cowering slightly, holding his hands up in a sign of peace and surrender. The shopkeep had a stick-thin body, papery green skin, and four arms. 

“You  _ monster _ ,” the shopkeep snarled, jabbing their knife at Sugar.

And I had to restrain myself from killing that shopkeep right then and there.

I grabbed the shopkeep by the shoulder and forcibly turned them towards me. “If you want to hurt him, you’re going to have to fight me first,” I bit out.

“Yeah?” The shopkeep spun towards me and slashed his knife at me. I sidestepped the knife easily and with little effort. “I’ll kill you and then I’ll kill your dirty  _ friend _ too!”

I sidestepped another slash. “You don’t have to fight,” I said. My rage was beginning to subside into eerie calmness. “You can back down if you wish.”

Another slash.

I sighed. “Well, at least no one can say that I didn’t try.”

I activated a special ability, My Turn.

My Turn was an odd, Moxie-based ability that forced combat to turn into a turn-based system, like a game almost. The number of options to take varied, but I had five at any given time: FIGHT, MAGIC, ACT, ITEM, and MERCY. FIGHT was for melee; MAGIC was, well, magic; ACT was for such things as talking and checking stats; ITEM was, again, self-explanatory; and MERCY was for sparing opponents or running away.

“I will give you one more chance,” I said. “If you choose to accept my MERCY, then I will allow you to return to your booth.”

The next slash hit me, barely doing any damage. My DEFENSE was too high to be injured from such a weak attack.

“I see. I’d say it was nice to meet you, but it really wasn’t. Goodbye.”

I summoned Damnum Luna and  _ smashed it _ through the MERCY option. No running away, and no sparing. This was kill or be killed.

And I, of course, would win. I always did.

The shopkeep’s knife grazed my skin. MISS. My turn, then. I looked up at them, then, slightly bored. “You know, this was incredibly boring. You were no fun at all.”

Damnum Luna came down on the alien’s head.

The fight ended. I, as always, had won. And yet… my chest ached. What was this feeling deep inside my heart…?

 

* * *

 

“Cobalt,” Ulaz asked me on the way back to the base, “what was that?”

“Sugar is important to me,” I responded nonchalantly. “If I must to protect him, then I will give his attackers  _ everything. _ ”

“I understand that,” the Galra told me, “But  _ what was that?” _

“Oh, you mean the battle sequence.” I shrugged, leaning back onto dozing Sugar’s chest. “It’s a special Moxie-based ability of mine. It’s called My Turn, it forces combat into a turn-based system.”

“That is… incredibly odd.”

“It is indeed. Moxie is an incredibly powerful energy, powerful enough to allow me to alter reality and survive past death.” I looked up to make sure Sugar was still sleeping. Seeing that he was, I returned my gaze to Ulaz. “You’ve seen me fight beyond death before.”

“At the time, you told me that was rare.” Ulaz had to keep his eyes in front of us, watching for asteroids. Still, he spared a curious glance at me.

“It is rare,” I said. “Rare for Moxie to interact with me  _ directly _ . It’s common for Moxie to work more behind the scenes, keep me alive that way. Accelerated healing, instant blood clotting. Things like that. Sometimes, I just stay alive when I surely should have died.” I pulled down the collar of my new black shirt and pointed at the four-pointed-star-shaped scar that went over my throat. “S’how I got this.”

The Galra pursed his lips and didn’t say anything to me for the rest of the flight. I wondered what I’d done wrong.

 

* * *

 

“Was I wrong, Sugar?” I asked him late that night, when sleep wouldn’t come. 

“Wrong about what?” he asked me. 

“Wrong to kill that shopkeep, the one who called you a… that word.” I couldn’t bring myself to say  _ monster _ anymore, not after the timeline when my plan had officially failed. 

“...I don’t think so.” I didn’t look at him. His arm grazed over my side and then settled, lightly, over me. “You gave them chances to back out. They brought their death upon themselves.”

“Still… should I have just knocked them out? Was I right to kill them?” I trembled slightly.

“I don’t think it matters.” Finally I looked back at him. His face had changed; his eyes had become more human-like, black slitted pupils and white sclera with yellow irises. The rest of his Galran disguise remained, but it was odd to see his true eyes. “They had the chance to back out of the fight, and they chose to fight you. You  _ saved _ me, Cobalt. It doesn’t matter if it was right or not. You did what you had to.”

“...Thanks, Sugar.”


	12. Chapter 12

“There’s other humans in space.” I frowned into the holo-screen. Then I looked at Kolivan. “ _ This _ is the oh-so-powerful Team Voltron? I could crush all of them between my thighs, Kolivan.”

_ “Hey! _ ” the blue one shouted indignantly. Sugar flattened his ears from his position across from me, hiding from the camera.

_ “Lance, _ ” the black one said warningly.

“Team Voltron may not be as powerful as you are, Prince Cobalt, but they are certainly formidable.” Kolivan patted my head, then turned back to the holoscreen. “Team Voltron, I would like to introduce you to Cobalt Dreamer, the Prince of Darkness.” He gestured to me.

I rolled my eyes but picked up a hand and waved at the group of seven. “Hello. You can just call me Cobalt.”

The woman in a long blue-and-white dress nodded her head respectfully. She had pointed ears, I noticed. _ “It is nice to meet you, Prince Cobalt,” she said. “I am Princess Allura of Altea. Please don’t crush my paladins between your thighs.” _

I dipped my head to her. “Pleasure to meet you, Princess Allura,” I returned. “I promise not to crush your paladins between my thighs without provocation.”

So then we went through the whole greeting process, which was pretty boring, but at least I learned their names. The blue paladin was Lance, the red paladin was Keith, the yellow one was Hunk, the green Pidge, and the black Takashi Shirogane (who insisted I call him Shiro). Then there was the Princess and her royal advisor, whose name was Coran. I liked Coran; he had a mustache, after all, and all men with mustaches were trustworthy as far as I’d seen.

“Alright, now that I know everyone: Kolivan, why the everloving  _ fuck _ did I have to come to this conference?” I crossed my arms and leaned back, silently demanding an answer.

“It is my wish for you to accompany Team Voltron,” Kolivan said. “Princess Allura has already agreed to allow you aboard her ship.”

“You don’t want me on base anymore?” I schooled my expression into neutrality, trying not to let the hurt show.

“It is not that. It is merely that you will be more useful off-base than you will on-base. Please understand.” The Galra rebel faced me, waiting patiently.

“Only if I get to take Sugar with me,” I decided firmly. “Sugar comes with me, or I don’t go at all.”

_ “Who is Sugar?” _ the princess asked me. I motioned for Sugar to come over and he did, ducking down to look into the holoscreen.

“Hello,” he greeted politely. “I’m Sugar.”

_ “A white Galra?”  _ Pidge said interestedly, leaning towards their (her?) camera.  _ “Interesting! Sugar, do you have albinism? Is that why your fur is white? Or is it something else?” _

“Something else,” Sugar answered, smiling nervously and grabbing onto my shoulders. I patted his hand.

_ “Of course Sugar may accompany you, Prince Cobalt,”  _ Princess Allura said.  _ “He must have done something incredible to have gained so much of your trust.” _

“He’s my best friend,” I told her. “Thank you for allowing him to come with me. I’ll be ready when you get here.”

_ “We’ll be there in a couple of quintents,”  _ the princess said, smiling.

_ “Right.”  _ Shiro nodded politely and then addressed me.  _ “We’ll see you then.” _

“Bye.” I turned off the holoscreen. Then I turned to Kolivan, seething. “So. You made plans for me to leave base  _ without asking me. _ ”

Kolivan sighed.

 

* * *

 

Sugar and I took a shower together, as we always did. He scrubbed shampoo into my hair while I scrubbed shampoo into his fur. It was relaxing, to be taken care of while taking care of someone else. The dryer was my least favorite part of showering, though. It was just so  _ loud _ .

“I hate the dryer,” I muttered for the nth time, Sugar trotting away with me on his back.

“I know, I know,” he soothed. “If it makes you feel any better, I hate it too. Gets in my ears.”

I nodded, placated for now, and let Sugar take me into our room. Once there, he settled me down onto the edge of the bed and began to brush my hair with his fingers. “Hey Sug’,” I sighed, happy and content, “fuck does quintent mean?”

“A quintent is their version of the word day,” Sugar said, tugging at a particularly stubborn knot. “The paladins will be here in about a week or so.”

“What’s bothering you?” I asked, sitting up and dislodging his hands from my hair. Normally he would have been pleased for me to be interested in learning the new words we were surrounded with. But he’d barely even noticed.

“Ah, n-nothing, I’m fine.” Sugar looked away from me, his fingers fidgeting in his lap with nothing to do now. Yeah, he was definitely not fine.

“Sugar, you can’t lie to me. I know you’re not fine.” I waited a moment but when he didn’t say anything, I sighed and put my head in his lap. “You don’t have to tell me now, or at all if you’d rather not share. But you’re my best friend, and I want to help you.”

Sugar was silent for another couple of minutes, absently trailing his fingers through my hair again, before he spoke. “The princess… Princess Allura might not like me very much.”

“Why do you think so?” I kept my voice calm and my mood light, even as my mind raced to claw together a plan to make sure that this princess didn’t even  _ think _ of doing anything to Sugar.

“Her face. When you called me over to look into the holoscreen… her face sort of twisted up. Like she was disgusted. She hid it really well, but…” Sugar stopped, unwilling to say any more about it.

“I see… Don’t worry, Sugar. I’ll talk to her.” Sugar stiffened beneath me as I spoke, his hands freezing. “I won’t do anything to her,” I amended quickly, feeling him about to protest. “It will really be just a talk. No threats or weapons. Just a request to treat you politely.”

“...Cobalt…” Sugar lifted me into a sitting position then, hugging me tightly. His shoulders shook. Even though he couldn’t cry, not in the form he was in now, he still got upset and needed hugs.

I hugged him back, as tight as I could, and silently vowed to make sure that this  _ princess _ knew that I wouldn’t tolerate this sort of thing again, not on her account.

 

* * *

 

“Cobalt,” Kolivan called. I glanced at him briefly, then returned my attention to the training bot in front of me. It was sparking, just a little. My knife remained buried in its chest. Reaching down, I braced one foot on the bot and pulled it out.

“What’s up, Kolivan?” I asked, trotting up to meet him. As I did, I slid my weapon up into one of the belt loops of my jeans. That particular belt loop was made of metal and had small spikes to hold the hilt in place. It was easy to get my knife into the loop by pushing it up from the bottom and the spikes didn’t hold well against any sort of strong downward force so pulling it out was a cinch.

“The ceiling,” Kolivan answered immediately, looking confused. “Do you need to visit the medbay?”

I shook my head. “No no, it’s a more polite way of asking what you want.”

“I see. I wish for you to accompany Thace, Antok, Ulaz, and me on a mission. Sugar has agreed to join us if you decide to come as well. It is a low-rank mission with little chance for danger.”

“Then why do you want me to come?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Surely you'll do fine without me.”

“It will be a chance to assess your stealth skills and gain the opportunity to go on more dangerous missions,” Kolivan told me. “Will you accompany us?”

I shrugged, stretching my arms above my head. “Sure, why not. Got nothing better to do. When do we leave?”

“Now.”

“The fuck?!”

 

* * *

 

The mission was relatively simple, all things considered. Not many sentries, not many soldiers, and the Blade of Marmora were pretty stealthy considering they were giant purple cats. Sugar and Antok lifted me into a vent big enough for me to practically stand.

“Remember,” Sugar whispered to me, “you're looking for a room with a giant terminal. Use your Keyblades to unlock it and use the flash drive to corrupt it. Contact me if you find something weird.” Before the mission had started, I had entrusted my heart to Sugar to ensure a constant connection between myself and the group of Galra.

“Got it.” I flashed him a smile and a thumbs-up and crawled away to begin searching.

The first room I looked into had an odd, robed figure in it but no terminal. No terminal meant it was absolutely useless, so I scooted backwards and headed down a different path. Through my heart-bond to Sugar, I knew exactly where the Blades were and what they were doing. By closing my eyes and breathing deeply, I could trace the connection to look through Sugar’s eyes. But I refrained; the robed figure was probably nothing to worry about. Just another Galra soldier, albeit a strange one.

The second, third, and fourth rooms were only empty barracks, but the fourth room did have a terminal. Not a giant one, but a terminal. I swung down into the room silently, tapping the terminal curiously. It lit up and presented me with a  _ map. _ Too easy, except I couldn’t read the fucking writing. So I contacted Sugar.

_ Sugar, _ I called mentally.  _ I found a map but I can’t read the writing. _

After a moment, I could feel a presence behind my eyes. It was soft and familiar and even safe-feeling.  _ This map says the control room is a wing away. _ Using my arm, he pointed to the room.  _ Go there. _

_ Thanks, Sugar. Tell the Dads I’ll be there soon. _

_ Got it. Be safe. _ And then Sugar disappeared. I didn’t fault him for his brevity; he had to remain aware enough to fight. Now that I knew where the control room was, it was easy to bypass all rooms that I came across in the vents to find it. 

Maybe if I’d kept looking into the rooms, I’d have realized that the robed figure was following me before I’d dropped down into the ambush.

“Fuck!” I swore, ducking under a blast and rolling into a tight crouch behind the terminal. My left arm had been shot, but the blast had only hit the Darkness-made part thankfully. It still stung like a bitch, but there was no blood flow there. I wouldn’t bleed out.  _ Sugar! Control room! Ambush!  _ I shouted into the Darkness surrounded my mind.

_ We’re coming! _ Sugar’s frantic reply did nothing to alleviate my panic, but I pushed it aside forcefully so that I’d be ready to fight. Peeking around the terminal, I summoned Cor Saphiri and deflected an energy blast right before it hit me in the face. The blast bounced off of the strong blue crystal and hit a far wall.

“Thunder!” I shouted, using the static-y feeling of Darkness creeping over me to simulate the experience necessary to cast the spell. The Thundaga spell crashed into the soldiers shooting at me, killing one of them and injuring two others. The only downside of Thundaga, I cursed to myself bitterly as I ducked back behind the terminal, was that it was extremely difficult to aim and hardly ever killed. Without looking, I swung Cor Saphiri around and cast Fira. Fire was much easier to aim and much easier to kill with.

The door burst open then, the Dads and Sugar bounding into the room snarling. Sugar dove straight for me, skidding to a stop next me. “You okay?” he asked breathlessly. “We got here as fast as we could.”

“I’m fine. Just a shot wound, and it was on the Dark arm,” I reassured him. Together, Sugar and I stood up and danced out of the way of blasts. “Say, Sug’,” I laughed. “How’s about we have a little fun?”

Sugar grinned, large fangs making him look far more dangerous than he actually was. “You sure?”

“Of course I’m sure! Ready?”

“Ready!”

I spun around and opened my arms, Keyblades at the ready. Sugar dropped into my chest with a hug, his eyes sparkling mischievously, and I wrapped my Keyblades around him. Light surrounded us then, and we became One.

 

Being One was  _ exhilarating _ . Like we were always meant to be one person. The Light stopped the fight in its tracks as snipers tried not to get blinded. When the Light died down, we stood there together as One.

“Now,” we said playfully, “let’s get started!”

We were faster, stronger, more agile, overall  _ better _ when we were One. We danced and spun and slashed with reckless abandon. There was  _ no need _ for us to be cautious. We couldn’t be hurt anyway, not really. Any injuries we sustained would disappear once we went back to being ourselves. We'd have to decombine eventually, or else risk dying due to sepsis because my human body would start to decompose. But we could stay One for  _ years _ until death caught up to us. This short fight wouldn’t be anything at all.

It took seconds for us to sweep through the soldiers. Cor Saphiri and Damnum Luna glimmered like stars in our hands, twirling and spinning with barely a thought from us. Behind us streamed a thin, whippy tail with fur the same color as our hair. The tail held my- Cobalt’s- knife, but the fur too seemed to have a defense of its own. Any soldier who dared try to grab it quickly withdrew their hands with a yowl of pain; the fur looked soft, but it was actually stiff and sharp like thorns. 

The robed figure, though… Whatever it was, it could teleport. We didn’t like that.

“What, can’t you fight?” we purred, large Galra ears flicking up and down. It was insulting amongst Galra, to purr with ears that flicked up and down. Well, it could also be curiosity, but amongst full-grown Galra it was an insult. “Come on, stop playing…”

Our tail patted the floor teasingly, but we had to quickly yank it out of the way of this weird purple lightning stuff. 

“Ooo, fun!” we laughed, hopping on one paw-like foot to the left. Leaning forward, we grinned at the robed figure with bared teeth. Our teeth weren’t much more than kitten fangs, but it was enough to insult others. “How about we show you some  _ real _ lightning?” We raised our right arm above our head, Cor Saphiri glistening in the pallor purple light, and focused on the static in the air. Red-tinged yellow lightning came crashing down without any word from us, just barely missing the robed figure.

They hissed and raised their hands, one hand towards us and the other towards our pack. 

We ducked out of the way and came up in front of our pack, deflecting the lightning with a wave of our hand. “You guys get out of here,” we ordered. “You can’t fight this person like we can. Can you get to the ship in… 5 dobashes? And get it as far from this ship as you can in 2 dobashes? But don’t leave us behind.”

“We can do that,” Kolivan rumbled. He placed his hand on our shoulder; we came up to the centerpoint of his ribcage when we were One. “Be safe, cublings.”

We grinned. “Don’t worry.”

Distracting the robed figure while the Blade escaped was easy enough. All we had to do was cast a bit of magic. Our mana was kept full due to our being One, so we could cast as many spells as we needed. 

“Aw, come on,” we whined as the robed figure skidded across the floor towards the escape pods. “That’s no fun.”

But… Sugar did not want to kill anyone. And Cobalt- I- didn’t really want to either. So we let them escape, holding our bands above our head and channelling our full Dreamer power into a massive ball of destruction.

Time was up.

We let down our hands and let the ship explode.

 

* * *

 

 

“That was fun,” I said, stretching leisurely. The Blades had picked us up after the explosion and we were currently on our way back to base. Sugar purred and petted my hair, leaning down to groom me. “I forgot how great it feels to be One.”

“Be… One?” Thace leaned forward expectantly. “Is that what the two of you did?”

I nodded, leaning into Sugar’s grooming. “Yes. Sugar and I are… heart-bonded. We share just one heart. Whenever there’s a great need, we can… combine. We become One, and our power is added together. It’s tiring for the both of us, but… it’s hard to describe how it feels. It’s like…” I struggled to find words, any words, to put a name to the feeling.

“It feels like it was always meant to be,” Sugar said softly. “Like we were always meant to be One.”

“Have you ever stayed One for a long time?” Ulaz asked, a holopad in his hands. When I nodded, resigned to being asked questions, he excitedly asked, “How long?”

“We were One for 5 years.” We leaned back and looked at the ceiling of the ship. “We were lost in the Darkness Realm and I was…” I flinched at the memory.

“Dying. Cobalt was dying.” Sugar held me, tightly, like he was afraid I’d disappear. “It was a wound even Moxie couldn’t fix. So I did the only thing I could think of- I held him in my arms and merged us together, to keep him alive.”

“What’s it like, being One for so long?” Antok asked from beside the pilot’s seat. Kolivan, too, leaned back to listen.

I sighed and closed my eyes. “You forget you were ever alone.”


	13. Chapter 13

Like most people with PTSD, I had anxiety issues. Whenever I was particularly anxious, I chewed on the inside of my cheeks. And whenever I chewed, I ended up with a bleeding mouth.  This time was no different.

“Come on,” the Galran-hybrid woman cooed. “You need to feed.” Her skin was mostly pink with very defined slices of purple, blue, and yellow. She had no hair, but did have a long tail-like appendage coming from her head.  Of fucking course the Galra were a mammalian species. And of course, they all thought I was a baby.

“I can eat solid food,” I insisted, leaning back from her exposed breast and steadfastly refusing to look. Sure, I had a strong preference for guys, but that didn't mean I was allowed to look a woman's breast. Even if she wasn't human, she had privacy rights.

“Maybe he's just not hungry, Ezor,” another Galran-hybrid woman said heavily. This other woman had light bluish-purple skin and dark bluish-purple hair. She had no tail, and looked the most human out of the group.

“Or maybe that rebel gang doesn't feed him right so he thinks he's not allowed to feed properly,” the most Galra-esque hybrid said firmly. “We've just gotta keep trying until he gets it.”

“Zethrid,” the human-looking one sighed, “I know how you feel. But if he won't feed then we've just got to wait.”

“Acxa’s right,” Ezor said, pulling her shirt back down.  _ Thank Kingdom Hearts.  _ “We just have to wait until he gets too hungry to refuse.”

Fuck, I wished my translator hadn’t broken. I could understand them, but the part that translated my voice for them had cracked. If they could just understand me, then I'd be able to tell them that they could just give me real food.  Sugar and the Blade would find me. I just had to wait this out.

 

* * *

 

 

Easier said than done. Ezor kept trying to “feed” me, and each time I leaned away or otherwise refused. But the ship I was on moved fast, and it was becoming more and more apparent that Sugar and the Blade wouldn’t be finding me anytime soon. I’d have to make my own plans.  The first thing would have to be swallowing my pride and letting Ezor “feed” me. My steadfast refusal to give in had led to a decrease in my strength  _ and _ my mana. The Darkness attached to my body would begin to eat at my flesh if I didn’t find a way to sate it. And the only way to sate it would be… breastfeeding. 

Tears pricked my eyes; my heart was overly Full, and that Fullness had swept through my systems like wildfire. Seated on Ezor’s lap, cheeks burning, I closed my eyes and leaned forward to suckle. It was strangely easy; all it took was the firm press of my thumbs against her breast and an awkward suckle to bring forth the breast milk. The milk was warm and oddly bitter, but there wasn’t any other choice. I was just too short to reach the cabinets where the solid food was kept.

“Oh, thank goodness,” Ezor sighed, placing her hand gently atop my head. Her other arm wrapped around my back, holding me like I imagined my birth mother had done when I was very little. “I thought I’d have to force him…”

“Hunger will drive young cubs to do what they need to,” Axca responded. “It was only a matter of waiting until his survival instincts kicked in.”

“I’m just glad we don’t have to find a breast pump,” Zethrid piped up. “Those things are  _ expensive. _ ”

When I couldn’t take the taste anymore, I leaned back and crossed my arms, hunching my shoulders. With my eyes still closed to prevent the tears from spilling over, I gripped my arms tightly and dug my nails in. I would have to do this again later, to keep up the idea that I had given in, but that didn’t mean I was looking forward to it. In fact, I hoped that Sugar would find me soon enough that I wouldn’t have to again.

“There we go,” Ezor cooed. There was the sound of fabric, and then I was pulled against the pink Galran-hybrid’s now-clothed chest. “I think he’s tired.”

“Then put him to bed and come train with us. You’ve been so stressed that you haven’t been training at all.” The new voice was male, and I knew immediately who it was. 

_ Lotor. _

He’d been the one to catch me. It was a relatively dangerous mission, but none of the Blade had expected the Prince of the Galra Empire to be on board. He’d seen me and immediately chased me down, capturing me and breaking my translator. It was an accident, probably, but that didn’t absolve him from the blame. 

“Yeah, that’s probably best,” Ezor agreed. She carried me through the ship, which was rather small, to her room and put me into the bed (which was really more of a large crib) that the group had procured. She patted my cheek, all while I refused to open my eyes, and then left. The door clicked softly as she closed it.

_ Please, Sugar, _ I pleaded deep in my heart as the tears began to finally pour over,  _ please find me soon. _

 

 

* * *

 

‘Soon’ didn’t seem to be on the agenda. I took to staring out the windows listlessly, refusing to talk and doing my best to forget about Ezor’s “feeding” me. I tapped the glass once, soothed by the smoothness of it, but quickly stopped once Ezor and Acxa seemed to be intrigued by the tapping. I had contemplating killing them all, but I knew that I couldn’t pilot the ship. I couldn’t even reach the solid food. As much as I hated it, I  _ needed _ these assholes alive.  Still, Zethrid seemed to notice my restlessness. When there was no one else around, she would pick me up and bring me to the training deck. She’d watch with sharp eyes as I destroyed bots, threw crates, and threw myself against the climbing wall. After an hour or two, when I had exhausted myself, she would pick me up again, drop me into the overly-large crib, and leave. 

I hated her. I hated everyone on this damn ship.

I chewed on pieces of metal that I scavenged off of the kitchen table, things that kind of looked like paper clips but not really. I chewed and chewed and chewed. Once, I broke skin and bled for a couple of minutes, maybe a half-hour. Ezor fussed whenever she caught me chewing, but it was better than chewing on my nails or my skin. It was  _ definitely _ better than grinding my teeth, which gave me headaches and had ended up in chipped teeth more than once. (Thank Kingdom Hearts that I had Moxie to rely on whenever that happened.)

After a while, things started… changing.

I first noticed it when the eyesight from my right became a little sharper, though the colors became distorted and greyed. Over the next few days, or what I could assume to be days, the nails on my left hand became more like claws, pointed and designed for tearing flesh. The skin lightened in color, becoming a pale, ghostly white. My right foot became more like a paw. What  _ really _ tipped me off was when my foot and arm started to grow  _ fur.  _ I’d been away from Sugar for too long. Without him around to help me balance the magic surrounding my limbs, the glamour that kept my Darkness-created body parts looking human was  _ fading away  _ and reverting back to how Sugar looked, remaining proportional to my body. Looking in the mirror revealed that my right eye had turned solidly yellow. Oozing Darkness streaked my face, tearing off bits of glamour magic and revealing the two scars on my cheek that I’d covered up. The scars went from the bottom of my jaw to just below my left eye. 

Panicked, I did my best to cover up the flaws. Covering my body with a blanket everywhere I went wasn’t difficult, and I used my hair to cover up the right side of my face. There wasn’t much I could do about the scars though; I kept my shoulders hunched and the blanket there whenever I could to try to avoid having others see them.

Sugar was the only one who had ever seen those scars.

I didn’t want anyone else to see them.

Those scars were important, in a way. I’d gotten them during my last “run”, during the last time that I had RESET everything back to the beginning. The scars had come from an enemy that Sugar had overlooked by accident. It had leapt at me, startling me and causing me to fall. In the two seconds it had taken Sugar to come to my rescue, it had carved two deep lines into my face.   Sugar still felt guilty. He thought that he was to blame for the scars on my face, that if he’d just been more attentive he could have stopped me from getting hurt at all. So I hid those scars, hiding what had happened, to try to ease his guilt. I didn’t blame him, not at all. It was nobody’s fault; it just happened. But he didn’t see it that way. So I concealed the source of his guilt behind glamours, behind magic, relying on the ‘out of sight out of mind’ method. 

But now those scars were visible for all to see, the skin slightly darker than my normal skin tone from the contamination of Darkness. The scars rose maybe a tenth of an inch from the surface of my skin, but that was enough to cause a slight ridge. 

The claws of my left hand dug into the flesh of my upper right arm as I squeezed it tightly, banishing those thoughts. It didn’t matter right now. My heart tugged in my chest, straining to escape. With a soft sigh, I reached for the center of myself and coaxed my heart out into my hands. The softly-glowing ball of white Light was featherlight, barely brushing my palms. It settled, humming like it was trying to communicate. I grinned, baring teeth that were sharper than necessary, the sclera of my one human eye turning black with oozing Darkness.   Sugar was  _ close. _

Time to end this.

I stood up, letting the blanket fall away. All of the doubt that I’d held, the fear of others seeing me without my glamour, had disappeared as my heart disconnected from me. Lifting it with one hand, I fished for the broken heart locket that Sugar had given me long ago. There was just one picture in it- a blurry photo of Sugar. Like a liquid, I poured my heart into the locket, sealing it so that it wouldn’t wander away and be lost. I would need it, later.

My right hand gripped the knife tightly as I stalked away, out of the room.  I wasn’t concerned with meeting anyone. It was the middle of the night cycle, which meant only one person would be awake.

Lotor.

And I knew just where to find him.

 

* * *

 

 

 

“What are you doing up, child?” Lotor asked, not even turning around to look at me. He was far too busy looking at the control panel.  I said nothing, flexing my hand and shifting the knife up and down in my grip.  “You should go back to bed.” Still he hadn’t looked at me.  I took a step forward, the automatic door shutting behind me. Curling my left hand into a fist, I swung it backwards and smashed the keypad, breaking it and locking the doors in the process.  Lotor startled at the sound, looking at me finally. His eyes, yellow sclera and purple irises, widened in shock and then fear and then finally settled into a blankness.  “Even after all we’ve given you, you would turn on us.” It wasn’t a question.

I tilted my head towards the keypad and smiled, as cold as ice.  “Kehyon juread,” I said.  _ You are a coward. _ “Kehyora gyerifera.”  _ You broke my translator. _

“What  _ are _ you?” he hissed, his arms coming up into a defensive position.

“Vern’mera avensiothir.”  _ I am the one who will bring your downfall. _ I relaxed my shoulders and lunged forward.  Quicker than I could see, a flash of silver metal-

I blinked open my eyes to see the automatic doors of the control room in front of me. The flash of metal must have been Lotor’s sword, and I remembered the cold, painless slice of the sharp edge into my neck…  He  _ killed _ me?

I growled, curling the claws of my left hand into the flesh of my palm. He managed to  _ kill _ me? The Prince of Darkness? I stepped forward and the door opened, Lotor’s back to me once more.

“What are you doing up, child?” he asked, the same way as before. When I didn’t respond, he said, “You should go back to bed.”  I eyed the sheathed sword at his side, the one that I hadn’t noticed before. Reigning myself in, I backed away from the door and let it close. But I didn’t go back to the crib. No, I was too awake to go back to sleep. I could  _ feel _ Sugar approaching.

_ Cobalt? Cobalt, hang on a little longer, okay? I’m coming. _ His voice, faint and sounding far away, echoed in my head.

_ I will hold on, _ I sent back.  _ I will hold on for you. I will be waiting, Mimyrira.  _

 

* * *

 

I waited. I waited, and watched, and whispered to Sugar. Every moment that passed, his voice became closer. His presence became stronger, and my body slowly returned to its glamoured state. The scars disappeared and the claws faded away. Still, I remained Empty. My heart was content to rest within the locket, to hide away from me until Sugar could retrieve it and hold it close.

Sugar was close,  _ so close… _

Alarms blared, snapping me out of my musings. Ezor and Acxa bolted upright from their dozing positions and darted past me, hurriedly putting on their armor. I watched them leave the sitting area and then I silently made my way back to the control room. No one was in there. I aimed Damnum Luna at the control panel and then threw the Keyblade, lodging it into the control panel and effectively killing the ship. The doors to the control room closed, but that was fine. Damnum Luna would return to me.

I made my way towards the group of Galra, clicking my nails together. Thi̴s̵ was͢ g͜onn̷a҉ b͢e e͏a̸sy͢. I ręm̷e҉mbered. T͟h͞ȩir̢ ͠de̶fense w̕a͜s͏ ͝t͡e̷r͜ŗibl̢e̶.̡ In thei̷r͞ p̶anic, they'̡d d̴i̢e͢ ͞th҉e ͡fi̴rst͞ ͟hi̶t. 

Sugar was already there, throwing Zethrid to the floor like she was a ragdoll. Compared to his strength, she was. Fighting alongside him were the humans from Team Voltron. The Black Paladin used his glowing purple arm as a weapon, parrying attacks and fighting Narti to get further into the ship. The Green Paladin was slipping through the ranks of Lotor’s team, tasering their enemies and knocking opponents off-balance. The Yellow Paladin used his huge gun as a deterrent, firing every so often and causing distractions. The Red Paladin used his sword to fight Acxa, and from what I could tell the two were pretty evenly matched. The Blue Paladin stayed in the back, firing with eerie accuracy at Ezor. 

Lotor was nowhere to be found. 

He grabbed me from behind, holding me like a precious child. For my part, I merely let him. The time wasn’t right; not yet. But it would be, soon. Silently and with little movement, I used my right hand to pull my knife into my grip. It was familiar to me, and brought me some modicum of a strange, violent emotion that I didn’t recognize.

“Cobalt!” Sugar gasped, swinging his arm into Zethrid’s chest and knocking her away. “Let go of him!” he snarled at Lotor.

“Come, cubling, we must flee,” Lotor murmured to me, attempting to pull me backwards. I refused. Twisting, I locked my left arm around his neck. The fighting stopped, shock permeating the air. “Cubling?”

I grinned, baring fangs that certainly didn’t belong in my mouth, and laughed, “If I’m going to hell,  _ then you’re coming with me!”  _ I stepped backwards and swung my knife into a crate that Ezor had said was labeled “highly explosive” when she had brought it aboard.

The last thing I remembered seeing was Sugar’s horror-stricken face as the crate exploded.


	14. Chapter 14

Sluggishly, power returned to the body. Energy, careful and wary, slipped into the unconscious teenager’s bloodstream, turning the blood an odd orange-gold color as it searched for the source of its host’s pain. It found lacerations above the rib cage, bleeding freely but slowly. The energy closed the wounds, using its knowledge of its host to provide flesh tissue and eliminate the damaged and dying tissues. There was a small cut on the host’s temple, which it closed seamlessly, and some hairline fractures in the jaw. The energy fixed what it found, leaving no scars upon the skin and realigning bones, before it deemed the host suitably healed. It turned its attention to the commotion outside the body, listening intently to determine the threat levels.

“Really, we don’t need to put Cobalt in a pod,” a soft and familiar voice insisted nervously. “We really shouldn’t-... it’ll upset-...” The voice kept cutting off, as though it didn’t have the right words.

“Upset who? Cobalt?” Another voice, deeper and unfamiliar, came into existence. The voice sounded authoritative but caring, willing to listen. “I think he’d understand…”

“Not Cobalt,” came the familiar voice again, more nervously. “It’s- Really just- listen to me, okay? Upsetting…  _ it _ is never a good idea. Cobalt will heal fine on his own-!”

“This conversation is entirely hypothetical at this point,” the energy sighed, seeping into the host’s body and taking control. It hated doing that, hated to feel physical the way it did in a body, but it was tired of listening to the bickering. Cracking open ice blue eyes with pupils that glowed yellow, it sat the body up slowly and carefully. The familiar voice, Sugar, its host’s loyal companion, flattened furry white ears to his head in shock. It knew the names of the others around its host’s body, and it eyed them carefully before deeming them harmless. “Cobalt’s body is no longer injured.”

The white-haired Altean, Princess Allura, stiffened. “Who are you? What have you done to Cobalt?” she demanded.

“Ah, Princess…” Sugar mumbled, looking more and more nervous. “This is what I didn’t want to upset…”

It brought Cobalt’s face into a calm smile, lifting one hand to calm the companion. “No offense has been taken,” it said reassuringly. Then it turned its attention to the Altean. “I am Moxie,” it greeted, “and I have healed Cobalt to the fullest extent possible. Therefore, there is no need for a healing pod.”

“Why was Sugar worried?” the small green one, Pidge, asked curiously. “I mean, you seem pretty reasonable.”

“Your healing pods utilize a concentrated form of a similar energy to me,” it responded calmly. “I do not take well to violations of my host. If healing needs to be, I do it myself.” It turned to the white-furred being and nodded smoothly. “It is not wise to keep the body aware like this much longer. I will take my leave now.”

“Right,” Sugar purred anxiously. “Bye, Moxie.”

It nodded and laid its host’s body back down gently, closing its eyes and receding from the body to lay dormant in the host’s heart. The heart hummed faintly, subconsciously aware of what had happened. Moxie seeped deeper into the heart to curl around the host’s consciousness. Soon, it thought.

Soon, the pieces would come together and everything would become clear.

 

* * *

 

I woke slowly, a dull ache behind my eyes. The fingers on my right hand twitched, disturbing a length of cloth that covered me. A blanket, perhaps more than one, was atop me. Cracking open dull but alert ice-blue eyes, I surveyed my surroundings.

I was in a pristinely clean, off-white room. There was nothing on the walls, not even a picture, and there was only one window. Stars floated peaceably by, not even disturbed by the spacecraft that passed them. There was a chair next to the bed, I belatedly realized, but there was no one in it. The only sign that anyone had been in it at all was the odd placement of it. There was no nightstand or desk in the room, after all; the chair was just sort of placed randomly beside the bed.

Swinging my legs over the bed, I scowled at the fact that my feet  _ still _ didn’t touch the ground.  _ Why _ was  _ everything _ in this fucking galaxyworld made for  _ tall people?! _

I pushed myself off the bed, nearly jumping when the carpet touched my bare feet. I hadn’t even noticed that my socks weren’t on my feet. The carpet was soft though, and for a moment I allowed myself to scrunch my toes through it like a young child. Straightening my shoulders and standing up as tall as I could, I walked through the automatic (automagic?) door and found myself in an empty hallway. The lights were on, indicating that it wasn’t the middle of the sleep cycle, so  _ someone _ had to be up. Closing my eyes, I breathed deeply and focused. 

Slowly, ever so slowly, I traced my way through the corridors. The astral projection of myself had no body, passing through doors and walls, and thus could not be seen. Not even Sugar could tell where my astral projection was at any given time. Very suddenly, I snapped back to my body. It was an electric feeling, the sharp  _ zap _ of suddenly being subjected to gravity. 

Following the path that I had taken in astral form, I made my way towards the presence of people. The hallways were strangely empty of anyone, which was slightly confusing. This ship was rather large; it felt like it should have been teeming with life…

I slowed to a stop as I reached the entrance to a dining area, where I had most strongly sensed the auras of others. Placing myself behind a wall to protect my body in case I somehow wasn’t safe, I leaned over and peered out curiously into the room.

Lance, the Blue Paladin, was sitting incorrectly in a large chair. His legs were thrown over one armrest and his back rested on the other. He was talking wildly about something that I couldn’t catch, speaking too quickly for me to understand. The Yellow Paladin, Hunk, was sitting next to him, listening intently. He at least seemed to have some idea of what was being said to him, and the large teenager even piped up with his own thoughts every so often. The Red Paladin, Keith, was deep in conversation with Princess Allura, her advisor, Coran, and the Black Paladin, Shiro, about something I couldn’t hear. The tiny Green Paladin, Pidge, was chattering excitedly to Sugar, zipping around him as he sat on the floor with some sort of contraption on his head. Poor Sugar’s ears were squashed to his head, but he didn’t look too uncomfortable. Instead, he seemed almost sheepishly confused. I shifted, leaning against the doorway to observe the strangeness of the situation.

The white Galra looked over then, and his eyes widened happily. “Cobalt! You’re awake!” He pulled the weird thing off of his head and bounded to me, pulling me into his arms and hugging me tightly. “I’m so glad you’re alright!”

I patted Sugar’s arms, trying not to laugh. I was  _ always _ alright, but that hadn’t lessened Sugar’s anxiety any. “Missed me, did you?” I snorted instead, extracting myself from his crushing grip. “As though I was anything but alright.”

“You nearly blew yourself up!” And just like that, Sugar pouted and put his hands on my shoulders. “You need to be more careful before you get yourself into a situation that you can’t salvage!”

“You’re right.” I reached up and looped my arms loosely around Sugar’s neck, hugging him. “I’ll try to be more careful.”

“Good,” he huffed. When I let go of him, he straightened up and gestured for me to come further into the room, smiling reassuringly. He turned to the watching Paladins and Alteans, who immediately tried to pretend that they had not been watching. “Everyone, this is Cobalt!”

“I know you all were watching,” I told them, grinning. “It’s nice to meet you all in person, and I’d like to formally thank you for retrieving me from Lotor.”

Princess Allura smiled at me, her hands clasped in front of her. “We are glad to welcome you aboard the Castleship,” she said to me. “And we hope you enjoy your stay with us.”

I bowed, bending at the waist to dip my head to her. “I am sure I will,” I returned politely. “Thank you for having me.”

“Bo-ring,” Lance called out, dramatically flinging his arm above his head. “Enough with all the formal stuff.” He waved cheekily to me, and I found an unwilling smile on my face. “Nice to meet’cha, Princey.”

I will admit, the nickname ‘Princey’ made me want to double over laughing. Instead, I cracked a smile.

“Yeah! It’s, uh, nice to meet you, Prince Cobalt.” Hunk was nervous, which was a bold contrast to Lance’s bold and confident personality. The large teen stood, saying something about making food for me. He disappeared into the kitchen before I could stop him.

“Sugar, get back here, we’re not done!” Pidge called impatiently. “And blah blah nice to meet you Cobalt.” The blatant disregard was a nice change of pace from all of the ass-kissing and political politeness that I’d received from many diplomats before. Sugar smiled apologetically at me and made his way back over to her, sitting down and bending his head to allow her to secure the contraption back onto his head.

“I look forward to working with you, Prince,” Shiro said calmly. This was a man who was used to being formal and polite, enough so that it spilled over into his normal personality. He extended his flesh-hand to me for a handshake, which happened to be his right, leaving me no choice but to extend my Darkness hand to him. We shook, though my hand was dwarfed by his own. I was barely taller than Pidge, so it was to be expected.

Coran was ecstatic about having more people on board; he shook my hand vigorously and babbled about something I didn’t quite catch. “You need anything, young chap, you just come find me,” he told me excitedly. “I will always be happy to help.”

“That means a lot to me, Coran. Thank you,” I said, finding that some of the tension in my shoulders had faded with his proclamation. Coran acted like an uncle or perhaps a grandpa, from what I’d heard about uncles and grandpas anyway. I liked the idea of an older person being available and willing to help. I promised to find the older Altean if I needed him, at which he smiled beneath his moustache and patted my shoulder before his attention returned to Princess Allura.

Keith nodded coolly at me, and I returned his nod easily. It was his own way of being polite, I recognized, when he didn’t know me personally enough for a handshake and he didn’t want to accidentally say the wrong thing. From his greeting, I could infer that he was probably the kind of person who had to work to understand social cues and how his words might be taken, and so chose to be distant until he better understood a person.

I respected that. He was much the same as my younger brother, Weasel; Weasel struggled to understand other people and he often said things that he thought were polite until he was snapped at for it. Because of that, he tended to come off as rude and unfriendly to people who didn’t know him very well.

Somehow, making a connection between Keith and my brother made me want to lock Keith in his room and never let him out.

Damn those big brother feelings.

“Keith,” Shiro started wearily, as though he’d gone through the routine a thousand times. I stopped his lecture with a raised hand and a smile.

“No, it’s alright.” I looked to Keith and nodded again. “There’s no harm in just nodding. I’ve a younger brother who does the same.”

“You have a younger brother?” Lance leaned forward, eyes alight with excitement. Perhaps he had a big family, or merely enjoyed children.

“Two, actually. Twins.” I settled down easily, taking the spot that Hunk had vacated. “They should be 16 by now. I haven’t seen them in a couple of months, but I know they’re in good hands.”

“Can you tell me about them?” the darker-skinned teenager asked rapidly, his fingers twitching as though he wanted to tap them against the table. “I just- I’ve got younger siblings of my own, and I haven’t seen them since-”

I raised one hand to stop his babbling, trying not to laugh. “You don’t need a reason,” I chuckled. “I’m happy to talk about the two of them.” I leaned into the backrest of the chair and stretched my flesh-hand out, tapping the table rhythmically. I figured Lance would be more comfortable with his ‘stimming’, as Weasel had once explained to me, if I did it too. “They’re almost identical. Same height, same skin tone, and if you didn’t see which one spoke you wouldn’t be able to tell. Kit, he’s the older one, has green eyes while Weasel, the younger one, has orange. They’ve both got pink hair, but Weasel’s is darker.”

“Weasel? Is that a nickname?” Shiro was, apparently, invested as well.

“Not really.” I hummed, eyes closed. “Kit and Weasel were actually one person for a lot of their lives. Kit’s the original. Before I...  _ disappeared, _ I sent Kit as far into the future as I could to protect him from danger. From what I’ve been told, I know that Kit ended up three years into the future. Something happened and his heart split in two, creating Weasel.”

“Split? How does a heart  _ split? _ ” Pidge sounded incredulous.

“I’m not talking about the physical organ,” I explained. “Your heart holds your emotions. Without one you become an empty shell, forced to search forever to obtain one.” I would have to explain how a heart could be lost, I realized, and sighed with that knowledge. I hated explaining things. “When a person falls to Darkness, they lose their heart. Creatures without hearts are usually called Heartless, but if they have a strong enough will they’re called Nobodies. When under extreme stress or pressure, a person’s heart may become damaged. Sending Kit into the future damaged his heart somehow, and that caused it to split and create another person.” I huffed and opened my eyes, leaning forward to rest my arms on the table.

“Is there a way to get your heart back?” Pidge asked, very obviously interested. “I’m asking for science reasons.”

“Again, you do not need a reason.” I stretched my arms out, listening to my shoulders crack, before I spoke again. “If a person’s Heartless and their Nobody are destroyed, that person will come back with their heart. But if someone loses their heart and does not become a Heartless or Nobody, then all that’s needed is to find their heart and lock it back into their body.”

“Lock it? With what, a key?”Allura seemed almost skeptical. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Keith listening as well. Though he didn’t want to show it, I could tell that he was just as interested in what I was explaining.

“Actually, yes, with a key.” I lifted my right hand and, with a flash of light, Cor Saphiri appeared. Ignoring the awed gasps, I said, “This is a Keyblade, an ancient weapon of Light. It is the master key to the universe, and can unlock or lock anything. Using a Keyblade, Heartless and Nobodies can be permanently destroyed, releasing any hearts they may have stolen and providing the opportunity for a person to be restored.”

“May I?” the princess asked timidly, reaching a hand out to touch Cor Saphiri.

“Ah, be careful, Princess!” Coran warned.

“You can’t hold it, but you may touch.” Angling the sharp teeth away from her, I extended it. “It will not hurt you. This is Cor Saphiri, meaning ‘Heart of Sapphire’.”

The Altean rested her hand on the light blue crystal. “It is powerful,” she breathed, “and it wants to help you.” She looked at my curiously. “Is there a reason I cannot hold it?”

I nodded, pleased with her assessment and amused with her question. “Someone who is not a Keyblade wielder cannot hold a Keyblade. It would just disappear and return to me.” Using my other hand, I summoned Damnum Luna. “This is Damnum Luna, meaning 'Loss of the Moon’.” I held it out to Allura, teeth again angled away.

The princess put her hand on Damnum Luna as well and hummed. “It is eager to assist,” she said, “and willing to be as powerful as you need.” She drew her hands away and I let the Keyblades disappear.

“So, if you used your Keyblade… you could put Kit and Weasel back together?” Keith finally spoke, his question quiet but begging an answer.

I shook my head, leaning back into the chair. As I did so, I realized that Lance was indeed tapping his fingers now. Good. “I suppose I  _ could, _ but I wouldn't. They're two different people now; sealing them back together would only hurt them.”

“Sorry it took so long,” Hunk said, suddenly appearing in the doorway. A plate of something smelling suspiciously of starfruit was in his hands. “I didn't know what you liked, so I put together something that I'm hoping you'll like.” He put the plate in front of me and I scooted forward, interested.

“Starfruit?” I picked up a piece with my fingers gingerly; the texture was more like pineapple, but it was the same pastel yellow of the starfruit I'd eaten while on Destiny Islands, the world that was home to my friends Sora, Riku, and Kairi. I sniffed it and then popped it in my mouth, humming contentedly when the taste was nearly the same, maybe a bit sweeter.

“You like it?” Hunk asked anxiously. “We got it from this weird swap moon, and I wasn't sure if you would like it, since you’re a prince and all and you’re probably used to way more lavish stuff and I realize I’m rambling so I’ll shut up now.”

“It's delicious,” I assured the anxious paladin. “It’s a bit sweeter than starfruit usually is, but it's definitely not bad.” Then the rest of his statement hit me and I choked on a laugh. “I assure you, Hunk,” I coughed, “it doesn’t matter if I’m a prince or not.” I finally managed to stop coughing and sit up straighter. “I’m the same as you and the paladins; there’s no need to treat me any differently than you would a fellow teammate.”

“I-I mean, if you say so… does that mean I can call you Cobalt?” Hunk rubbed his arms nervously- another stim? I didn’t know all of them - I doubted anyone did - but it looked like some sort of self-comforting tic to me.

“Sure,” I agreed easily. “I don’t mind if anyone here just calls me Cobalt.”

“Hmm, I dunno,” Lance drawled out, reaching one slim hand over and snatching a piece of space starfruit off of my plate. I swatted at his hand in mock offense, making no actual effort to stop him. He popped it in his mouth and ate it, humming goodnaturedly. “Princey suits you.”

“Then by all means, continue to call me that,” I said, raising one eyebrow with a light grin. “Hey, Sug’, what’re you and Green doing?” He had been watching me talk to the Paladins with a dopey grin on his face, but he snapped to attention as I directed my words at him.

“Um, I don’t… actually know,” he responded sheepishly. He tapped the contraption curiously. “What  _ are _ we doing, Pidge?”

“You’re way different than any Galra we’ve ever seen!” she exclaimed, tapping at her laptop in a quick, precise manner. “Your bio-readings are practically nonexistent, and the ones that  _ do _ come up are off the charts!”

“I… could just tell you…?” Sugar offered meekly. He shot a glance at me and I nodded; it was better to tell now than get it revealed later.

“That’s right, you would know, wouldn’t you?” Pidge stopped her calculations and turned her attention to Sugar, startling him. He shrunk in on himself, tapping his index claws together shyly. 

“I… well, um…”

“I’ll explain,” I offered, saving Sugar from his anxiety. Sugar nodded quickly and curled up into himself; he was just so shy. 

Pidge turned her attention to me quickly, scrambling into a chair at the table and hauling her laptop up. “Slowly, please. I want to document everything.”

“Ooh, a story!” Coran sat down at the table, followed by the rest of the Paladins and the princess. “Go on then, Cobalt. We’re listening.”

I nodded and then hesitated. “I’m going to start from the beginning. From the moment I met Sugar. As such, I’m going to be mentioning a lot of things that… might bring up bad memories of all of you. I won’t be going into detail much, just enough that you understand, but… just a warning. Don’t feel bad if you have to leave the room. I might have to stop at points too. Ask any questions that come to mind, but please understand that I might not answer some.”

When everyone had nodded in understanding, I sighed and began the story.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: IMPLIED CHILD ABUSE, DEATH, SUICIDE. Not graphic but still talked about. Please be careful when reading.

“When I turned 18, I sent my brother three years into the future to protect him from my father. My father, directly afterwards, sent me to a place called the Realm of Darkness, where light doesn’t shine and time doesn’t pass. I passed out when I fell, my heart damaged.

“When I woke up, I saw Sugar. He was leaning over me, asking me questions and getting in my personal space. But he didn’t look the way he looks now, and he hadn’t existed until I fell.”

“Wait wait wait,” Pidge interrupted. I paused, turning my attention to her. “So Sugar is  _ made _ of darkness? Like, shadows and stuff?”

“You’re partially correct,” I said. “Sugar  _ is _ made of Darkness, but not the kind you’re thinking of. The Darkness is shadows made tangible.” As an example, I summoned a tendril of Darkness to curl around my arm. “This is the Darkness I’m talking about. It’s a power source, in a sense.”

“So… Darkness with a capital D?” Pidge typed rapidly at her laptop. “Does that mean Sugar isn’t alive?”

“Not in the sense you and I are, but he is most certainly living.” When no more questions arose, I continued my story. “Sugar was more human-looking when I first fell. He was still tall, but he didn’t have fur or a tail. His skin was a pearlescent white on his face and neck, but farther down it turned to pitch black. His chest, arms, and legs were all black, and his skin looked like someone had dumped glitter on him.” I cracked a smile. “He sounded different too. More like a little kid than a teenager.”

“I did  _ not, _ ” Sugar gasped, garnering attention. “There’s no way!”

“You did,” I hummed. “You sounded like you were five years old.”

“You’re lying.”

“Hey, you’ve seen the memories,” I shrugged. “Anyway, Sugar was actually directly on top of me. I remember I asked who the hell he was, and he responded all cheerfully. He kept asking me questions, but… I was afraid of him. I told him to leave me alone and ran away.”

“Then you died,” Sugar helpfully supplied. He shifted, moving from the wall to sit in my chair with me on his lap. I let him manhandle me, since trying to stop him wouldn’t do anything.

“Then I died,” I confirmed. “But I didn’t  _ want _ to die. I wanted to keep living. So I woke up back at the start.”

“Like time travel?” Lance asked. “You just- you went back in time? How did no one notice that?”

“Moxie,” I answered simply. “Moxie gives me a special power over the timeline. I can SAVE, which locks the timeline into place from the last SAVE all the way to right before the new SAVE. I can RELOAD, which is what you called time-travelling. And I can RESET, which… I don’t do very often. Or at all, anymore, so we don’t need to talk about that.”

“But how did no one  _ know? _ ” Lance insisted.

“Because no one remembers RELOADs.” It was that simple. “Only the person who has the power to SAVE remembers the RELOADs. See, Moxie is the strongest form of determination. Every living creature has it- determination is what lets creatures choose their own destinies and change their lives. But Moxie is so powerful that it can exert someone’s will over the timeline and change  _ everything. _ ”

“Can you put that into basic terms?” Lance begged.

“Using Moxie, I can rewrite time,” I deadpanned. There were a  _ lot _ of ‘oh’s, mostly from Lance, Keith, and Allura. Hm. “It took quite a few tries for me to realize that I needed to trust Sugar. Like, seven tries. I didn’t have a weapon anymore, so I needed someone who could protect me while I tried to adjust.”

“So Cobalt finally let me come with him,” Sugar purred. “But he still didn’t like me, so he made me walk behind him.”

“I was mean,” I shrugged. “After a while, Sugar and I became best friends. I vowed to take him out of the Darkness Realm. But… that wouldn’t happen for 16 years. I tried three times to take him to the Light Realm. He died every time.”

“Can you tell me about those times?” Pidge asked. Everyone was silent, pity and horror in their eyes.

“Sure.” It didn’t matter to me. These timelines didn’t come to pass anyway. “The first one, we forced a rip in the barrier and stumbled through. I knew where we were, and I wanted to show Sugar my favorite flower. Baby’s breath, if you wanted to know. I led him down the trail to a patch of flowers, and he began picking them for a bouquet. Then… there was a scream. People could tell that Sugar wasn’t human, and that scared them. They… called him a…” I struggled.

“Monster,” the white Galra said softly. “They called me a monster.”

“Yes,” I sighed. “They called him a… that word. I dragged Sugar away from the flowers, and an arrow went through my chest. I tried to make him run away, but an arrow hit his throat. He was weaker then, and he dissipated into a puddle of Darkness. So I pulled the arrow from my chest and killed myself.

“The second time, I made Sugar stay up near the rip while I talked to the humans. They greeted me perfectly fine, but the moment I mentioned Sugar they called him a… that word, again, and tried to take me away. Sugar leapt out to defend me. They killed him. They…,” and there I laughed, “they thought I’d be  _ happy. _ They said… this one old woman, she said, ‘There, there, child, you’re free now.’ And I was just so angry… I was so  _ angry _ that for the first time, my Keyblades returned to me.

“I killed them all. I killed every single human there, and then myself.”

Sugar squeezed me tightly. “That was the first time Cobalt’s heart disappeared,” he said while I calmed down. “We don’t know exactly why Cobalt was able to remain alive, but it’s probably something to do with Moxie. We refer to that form as Cobalt being ‘Empty’.”

“Interesting,” Pidge murmured, typing intently.

“Empty, eh?” Coran hummed, twirling his mustache. “I get it! Because he was empty!”

“Exactly,” I said, breathing deeply. Sugar loosened his grip on me and I resumed speaking. “The third and final time was… strange. Sugar was remembering more of the past timelines, and was very protective as a result. I used my Keyblades to rip through the Darkness Realm into the Light Realm, with the plan to use them to steal hearts from the humans of that village and give Sugar one. But tearing the rip open was too much effort, and I began to disappear.”

“I saw him disappearing, and I just… reached out and grabbed his heart,” the white Galra said, confusion in his voice. “I don’t know why I did it, I just felt like I had to.”

“We became One, and we carried my dead body into the village. The humans attacked us, but…”

“I didn’t let Cobalt fight back.” The room went completely silent. Pidge wasn’t even typing anymore. “I smiled, picked up Cobalt’s body, and went back to the Darkness Realm. We both died there.”

I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. Those timelines don’t exist anymore.”

“How are you so calm about dying so many times?” Hunk burst out. “Like, I get it, you can come back, but isn’t it dangerous? Isn’t there, like,  _ any _ consequences? And dying isn’t something to take lightly anyway, even if you can come back!”

“It’s not dangerous,” I said, blinking owlishly. “I mean, sure, if I RELOAD too much, people might get deja vu or get the feeling that something is supposed to happen, but there’s no real consequences. Nothing happens to me, anyway.”

“That’s not true,” came Sugar’s voice, quietly. “There are consequences.”

I turned to give Sugar a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”

“Sometimes…” Sugar swallowed nervously. “Sometimes you get scars from the wounds that you RELOADed over. And sometimes… sometimes you forget things that happened.” His voice lowered further. “You once made the same mistake four times before you remembered that you’d already tried that tactic.”

I froze. I… forgot things? And got  _ scars _ from RELOADing? Without thinking, my hand flew to my chest. The three long scars on my chest.. Were those from RELOADs too?

“I knew I forgot things that had happened,” I said, rubbing the scars on my chest absently. “But it was always things like… minor details. You’re saying I forget  _ major _ things? And… get scars?” I shook my head. “That’s… strange, but…”

“What kind of minor things do you forget?” Pidge asked, changing the subject abruptly. “And how do know it’s from the RELOADing?”

I appreciated the subject change. “Birthdays, what exactly someone said, sometimes the date of the memory. It’s why I can’t usually remember how old I was when certain things happened, unless it was something recent or a huge event. And I’m sure some of it is from RELOADing, but the majority of it is from PTSD, since most of the memories I lose are from before I fell to the Darkness Realm.”

The room was silent for a couple of minutes as Pidge typed and everyone mulled over what I had said. Then Shiro leaned forward with a smile, easing the tension of the room. “So, Prince Cobalt, you’ve been living with the Blade of Marmora. How was that?”

I smiled too, relaxing at the easy question. “Definitely strange,” I responded. “Did you know that Galra don’t have traction on their feet? Take their boots and they slide all over the place.”

“Really? Aren’t their feet like Sugar’s? Being paws?”

“Nah, Sugar’s an anomaly.” I tilted my head to the left and hummed in thought. “They’re also not obligate carnivores. They eat grains as well as meat, and I’m pretty sure the ration bars the Blade had were more grain than meat.”

_ That _ got some laughs.

“Did you go on any missions with them?” Princess Allura asked politely. She really  _ didn’t _ like Galra, did she?

“A few. Mostly to the swap moon to barter for supplies. Thace said once that I was ‘good at haggling’.” I stretched, popping one of my shoulders. Sugar’s hand came down to massage the other one gently. “One or two diplomatic missions with Kolivan, mostly as a way to persuade leaders to defy the Galra Empire. Some high-level missions to clear out Empire cruisers or steal intel.”

“Persuading leaders? With what, your tiny body?” Lance snorted. Keith nodded in agreement.

I nodded. “You know that reaction humans get when they see dogs? Apparently, aliens get that when they look at life-forms such as children.”

“That’s right,” Allura said, nodding like that made perfect sense, “you’re only 18, aren’t you? Since you didn’t age while in the… Darkness Realm?”

“I am 18,” I agreed, smiling. “It’s the RELOADs that make me act so mature, according to Kolivan.”

“I see…” Abruptly, Allura stood. “Coran, please come with me. I need your assistance.”

“Of course, Princess!” The two Alteans left the room in a hurry.

I turned my attention to the other humans. “Don’t reveal your actual age to any aliens ever,” I warned. “Galra live, like, 1000 years. Literally the whole Blade thinks I’m a child.”

“Aww, baby Princey!” Lance cooed. He waggled his fingers in my face and I bit at him, baring my teeth. He pulled his hand away quickly. “Whoa! Easy there, Princey. Point those inhuman teeth somewhere else.”

“Inhuman?” I snorted. “My teeth are perfectly human, thanks.”

“No,” Pidge said, catching my attention. “Your teeth are way sharper than normal. Is that a genetic thing?”

My brow furrowed. “I don’t know, I’ve always been this way.” 

“His ears are a little pointed,” Sugar supplied helpfully. Everyone moved to sit closer to me to look. I sighed and brushed my hair back, showing off one of my ears.

“My brothers both have pointed ears, too,” I harrumphed. “I’m 100% human.”

“You're, like, 85% human,” Sugar retorted. “Or have you forgotten about your artificial limbs?”

“They don't count!” I insisted. “Next you're gonna be telling me that my  _ tongue _ is inhuman.”

“Well, what's up with your tongue?” Keith asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

“He's got barbs on it like a cat,” Sugar purred. “Cobalt, tongue.”

I rolled my eyes but stuck out my tongue anyway. Using a piece of starfruit as an example, the white Galra hooked the food onto the barbs on my tongue where it hung, limp but stable. After letting the paladins gawk for a couple of seconds, I pulled the food into my mouth.

“Useful for eating when I need my hands,” I supplied, before anyone asked. “Judging from your faces, that’s  _ not _ something any of you have.”

“Tell me  _ everything _ ,” Pidge said, grinning widely.

I sighed. Kingdom Hearts forbid… “My nails grow into points,” I muttered. “I file them down. Can’t clip them cause there’s a vein in there.”

“A quick, like a dog’s nails?” Hunk asked. “Cause that… kinda sucks.”

I nodded. “It’s not too bad. Just sucks when one breaks. Doesn’t even hurt, really.”

“Your eyes are reflective,” Keith said suddenly. I startled slightly, looking at him. “It’s the lights,” he explained. “They’re reflecting off of your eyes. Tapetum lucidum?”

“Tapetum lucidum,” I confirmed shakily. It was  _ weird _ how observant he was. But, well… it wasn’t unwelcome. In fact, it was even familiar. Weasel had been the first to notice my fake limbs and had ruthlessly questioned me about it. This reminded me of that time. “Uh… my shoulders rotate pretty far in the socket.”

“That could just be hyperflexibility,” Pidge dismissed. She leaned farther into my personal space with excitement. “What else?”

“Wait,” Shiro cut in. “Sugar mentioned artificial limbs. But you look completely human.”

I blinked. Oh yeah… “Oh. Well, during my time in the Darkness Realm, I… lost a few pieces. Sugar replaced them with Darkness.” I lifted my left arm. “Arm, up to the elbow. Right foot, up to the ankle. Right eye.”

“Your arm?” The Black Paladin looked at his own artificial arm. “It didn’t…  _ feel _ any different than normal…”

“It’s a part of me now,” I said, leaning farther back onto Sugar. Sugar’s body shifted to accommodate that, though I doubted anyone would notice. Or, well, if they did notice, they wouldn’t say anything. “The only difference is that I don’t have any actual circulation down there.”

“So you have limbs made of Darkness,” Hunk repeated. “Because you’re the Prince of Darkness. So you can control Darkness? Were you, like, born the Prince of Darkness?”

“Actually,” I hummed, more at ease now that we weren’t talking about my supposed inhumanness, “being the Prince of Darkness is more like an apprenticeship thing. The Realm herself chose me. As for controlling Darkness, well…” I summoned a tendril of Darkness and allowed it to curl around my arm like a snake. “It’s more like the Darkness heeds my call than being controlled. It does what I ask  _ because _ I’ve asked, not because I’m the Prince.”

“Cobalt uses Darkness to play pranks,” Sugar said, nodding like he was impacting some sagely wisdom.

“It’s funny to watch people go to take a step and get stuck in a puddle of Darkness,” I retorted. “Don’t act like you have the moral high ground here.”

“So what does Sugar do with Darkness?” Lance asked smoothly. “Since obviously he’s made of it, he can use it, right?”

“Cobalt, don’t,” my companion warned.

“He shapeshifts into things and scares people.”

“Cobalt!”

The room filled with laughter as the white Galra picked me up and flung me into the air repeatedly. And of course, he caught me every time. I wouldn’t expect any less of him.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end doth approach ;) but there's still more to come afterwards.

Over the next two or three days, I familiarized myself with all of the inhabitants of the Castle. Hunk was usually found in the kitchen, and he was always happy to have me help him make food. Even if I  _ did _ have to pull up a stool. Lance could be found lounging in what the human paladins had dubbed the living room, in his bedroom, and sometimes even at the stardeck. Lance told jokes a lot and flirted heavily, but everyone on the Castle seemed to realize that the flirting was just for play. Still, I had to fight not to blush every time he used one of his cheesy lines on me. It wasn’t my fault I had eyes, okay. Keith was almost always on the training deck, and Shiro could be found either with Keith or with Allura. Allura was generally in the control room or at the Bridge, sometimes with Coran next to her. Coran was by far the hardest to track down, since he could be just about anywhere. The Princess always patted my head when she saw me; great,  _ another _ alien treating me like a child. Coran patted my head too, but he did it to Pidge too.

Speaking of Pidge, she was somewhat harder to track down than the other paladins, but she was usually either tapping away on her laptop in the living room or tapping away on her laptop in her Lion’s hangar. The Green Lion was friendly and always nodded at me in greeting whenever I popped by to check on Pidge. She was only 15, after all, never mind that she was practically a certified genius.

Actually,  _ all _ of the Lions were friendly with me. The Blue Lion would purr at me, the Yellow Lion would flick its tail and nod, the Black Lion would dip its head to me. Even the Red Lion would nod at me, even though I’d been told that the Red Lion took the longest to warm up to anyone. It was like the Lions knew what I was there for. 

Like the Lions knew who I was.

They  _ were _ sentient, I always reminded myself. The Lions had thoughts and feelings, despite being AIs. And from what Moxie could convey to me, the Lions ran on a distilled, similar power to it. Moxie was sentient. So were the Lions. It just made sense.

Once, I put my hand on Green's leg. The metal was warm and trembled under my hand.

I didn't touch the Lions again.

Sometimes Sugar became possessive of me. He would lean down to rub his cheeks against mine whenever he thought I didn't smell enough like him anymore. Usually it happened after I spent a long period of time with one of the other humans, which tended to be Keith or Lance. 

I spent hours training with Keith, teaching him Keyblade techniques (that I probably shouldn’t have been teaching anyone, but semantics) that could be adapted to a regular sword and sparring with him. It was pleasurable, seeing as he held nothing back when fighting me. Even though I usually won our matches, there were a few times where I found myself flat on my back with his sword in my face. 

Lance was a different story.

He and I spent much of our time together talking about emotions. I listened to him when he reminisced about his home. He listened to me as I complained about the unfairness of what I had gone through in life. Even when we were putting makeup on each other’s faces, we talked. The Blue Paladin  _ really _ liked brushing my hair and putting it into a loose braid, and he liked to paint my nails and then have me paint his. Sometimes, like we were now, we would sit in the kitchen and bother Hunk until he kicked us out. 

But this time, instead of going back to Lance’s room like we normally did, he did something different, something I hadn’t expected. I SAVEd just as he began to talk, unknowing what he’d rope me into.

“Hey, Princey. Will you teach me about Moxie?”

 

* * *

 

“Why is it called ‘My Turn’?” Lance asked curiously, standing across from me in the training room. 

“Because I forcibly change the rules to make fighting a turn-based combat system,” I replied easily. “Everyone has to take turns. Like a game. Now, it’s My Turn.”

Immediately, the FIGHT sequence began. Lance yelped at the sudden change.

“How many options do you have?” I asked curiously. Would Lance have the option of MAGIC?

“Uh, four,” Lance replied. “Why?”

“I have five,” I shrugged. “Now, this is called a FIGHT sequence. I’m the only one who can make this change but while it’s active, all encounters will be like this. This’ll remain active until the battle I’m in ends.”

“What do you mean, encounters?”

“Usually fights.” I changed my stance, leaning on my left leg. “Like if Hunk and Shiro were to get in a brawl right now, they’d enter a FIGHT sequence.”

“Oh.” Lance shifted nervously.

“You have four options. FIGHT, ACT, ITEM, and MERCY. Let’s go in order. Press FIGHT and attack me.” At his horrified expression, I quickly added, “Don’t worry about hurting me. My DEFENSE is too high. The worst you’ll do is wind me.” When he pressed FIGHT, his bayard automatically appeared in his hands, pointed at me. “Press the trigger when the bar is close to the middle,” I encouraged. 

His shot hit me and did just one damage.

“Good!” I brushed off the soot absently and pressed ACT, continuing to explain. “That would do more damage to an enemy like a Galra soldier. The crueler your intentions, the more damage you do. You didn’t really want to hurt me, so your attack was weak. But be careful- the crueler your intentions, the harder it gets to hold yourself back.”

“That makes sense,” Lance said as it went back to being his turn.

“Now press ACT,” I instructed. I waited until he had done so to keep talking. “Your options will change with each enemy you fight, but you’ll always be able to CHECK them. CHECKing someone will let you see their ATTACK and DEFENSE, and sometimes you’ll get a little bit of information. Try CHECKing me. Read the information out loud.”

“Cobalt Dreamer,” Lance read, squinting at me as he tried to read the labels. “ATTACK - 60. DEFENSE - 40. The Prince of Darkness.”

“Good,” I repeated. “Now I’ll CHECK you.” I pressed ACT and CHECKed Lance. His name, stats, and information tidbit appeared over his head. “Lance. ATTACK - 10. DEFENSE - 8. Voltron’s sharpshooter.”

“Are those always accurate?” he asked, seemingly cringing in preparation.

“Of course they are,” I scoffed. I ignored the way he stared in shock. “What use would it be to give out information that’s wrong? Now, try using the other ACT options.”

“Wait wait wait! Your DEFENSE was 40, but mine was 8! How come you have so much more DEFENSE?” Lance crossed his arms stubbornly.

“I’ll get to that. Just use an ACT.”

“Uh…” Lance hesitated, then grinned at his options. “Hey there, Princey. Are you an angel? Because you’re heavenly.”

I blushed immediately, unable to hide my reactions with My Turn in play. I should have known Lance would have FLIRT as an option! I knew exactly what the text floating above my head read, too.  **‘You flirt with Cobalt Dreamer. … He blushes.’**

Lance grinned like the shit-eating gremlin he was.

“Alright, since you obviously know how to use ACT,” I said, tamping down my blush, “then let’s move on to ITEM. It’s fairly simple- you’ll find anything that you have on you there. Food items will heal you, and some items can be equipped in battle. However, it’ll take up your turn”

“What? That’s totally crap,” he grumbled. He pressed ITEM anyway and gasped in delight. “Oh! I still have my hair tie!”

“That would be an ARMOR,” I explained. “Right now, your jacket is acting as your ARMOR. When you’re wearing your paladin armor, your DEFENSE will be higher. That's why my DEFENSE is higher than yours; my locket is a better ARMOR than your jacket. I’m also more experienced at fighting than you. For now, back out of the ITEM menu and go to MERCY.”

He did, curious. “SPARE and FLEE?”

“SPARE-ing is just saying that you won’t fight,” I said, pleased that Lance was understanding so much. “When your enemy’s name is yellow, that means they don’t want to FIGHT anymore. That can happen either from ACTing or from FIGHTing. You should SPARE anyone whose name turns yellow.”

“FLEE would just be running away then?” he asked.

I nodded. “Sometimes you won’t be able to win a battle and you’ll have to FLEE. It’s a good way to protect yourself. Sometimes enemies will chase you. Most will accept that you’re running away and leave you alone.”

“What if I attack someone whose name is yellow?” The inevitable question.

I knew that Lance didn’t know, but my heart chilled in my chest anyway. 

“When someone doesn’t want to FIGHT,” I said softly, “then their DEFENSE lowers. Attacking someone whose name is yellow will almost always result in a kill. Promise me, Lance, that you’ll SPARE anyone who doesn’t want to FIGHT you.”

“I promise,” he said, bewildered by my reaction. He pressed SPARE.

I shook my head and smiled tiredly. “Right. Your enemy won’t always accept your MERCY. Sometimes, you’ll have to SPARE enemies even when their names aren’t yellow.” I pressed FIGHT.

“Cobalt?” Lance stared at my Keyblade, eyes wide.

“I’m going to teach you about dodging attacks,” I said loudly. “I haven’t attacked you yet, so you probably haven’t noticed, but you can’t move very far from your spot. Dodging attacks is simple- when you see one coming towards you, just move out of the way. Jump, duck, move side to side. Let’s try it.”

“Wait, you said you wouldn’t attack me!” Lance’s eyes were wide, the pupil constricted. I rolled my own eyes.

“I’ll go slow. You just need to learn the basics.” I tensed, aimed, and swung my Keyblade towards Lance as slowly as I possibly could. Lance ducked under it with a scream. “There, see? Easy.”

“That was  _ not  _ easy!” he panted, pointing a finger at me. “I thought you were going to really hit me!”

“It wouldn’t do much even if it did,” I shrugged. “I don’t want to hurt you. As soon as it hit, I would end my attack.”

Lance grumbled and SPAREd me again. I accepted his MERCY and the battle ended.

“In a real battle, the attacks will be much quicker,” I warned. “You’ll have to think fast. Some attacks will follow you for a time.”

“Why are you showing me all of this?” Lance asked, watching me. “I only asked to learn about Moxie. You could have just told me everything.”

My shoulders slumped and I met his gaze with a heavy heart. “Because,” I said as I turned away, “someday, maybe soon, you might have to fight me. You have to be prepared.”

Lance’s eyes burned into me as I left the room.

 

* * *

 

From what I could gather, Lance told the rest of the Castle crew about My Turn but not about what I had said after the FIGHT had ended. Had he forgotten, or was he keeping it to himself? Waiting for the right time to reveal it? Lance didn’t act any different around me, still smiling and laughing and playfully flirting.

I wished I understood his motives more.

“Prince!” I turned at the sound of my title automatically, looking up into Shiro’s eyes. He was decked out in his paladin armor, strangely enough. “A meeting is going to be called soon. Would it be alright for me to escort you there?” He offered his flesh-arm like I was some sort of important figure.

I laughed and humored him, taking his arm. “Sure,” I chuckled. As we set off together, I asked him, “You do remember that you don’t have to call me that, right?”

“It’s just polite,” Shiro replied, smiling warmly. “You  _ are _ a prince.”

I shook my head in amusement. I’d never get through to him.

Sugar looked up as we entered what I liked to call the Map Room, since it had a giant holographic map of this galaxyworld’s universe. I let go of Shiro’s arm and moved over to my best friend immediately, letting him hold me too tightly and pull his fingers through my hair too harshly as alarms blared.

“What’s going on?” I asked, resigned to having to actually do something helpful. The other paladins streamed into the room, decked out in their armor already.

“We’re approaching a planet under Galra control,” Allura said as the paladins stood at attention. “A distress signal has gone out and, as is your duty as Voltron, you must drive the Galra from the planet. Lance, Hunk, Shiro, I need you three to go planetside and distract all Galra troops. Keith, you will head inside their base and steal as many of their plans as you can. Pidge, you will guide him from your lion. Stay invisible but be ready to pull him out at a moment’s notice.”

“Roger that, Princess,” Pidge said. She turned to Keith and said, “I’ll drop you as close to their base as I can to reduce the chances of you getting caught.”

“Lance, Hunk, and I will draw their attention,” Shiro confirmed.

“I’ll sneak in and steal what I can without being caught,” Keith nodded, grinning fiercely.

“Sugar and I will go planetside as well,” I announced. “Sugar, I want you to go with Keith. Stay in his shadow, don’t show yourself if you can help it, and protect him.”

“Of course,” Sugar agreed immediately, disappearing into my shadow and migrating to Keith’s. The red paladin shuddered a bit. Though muted, Sugar and I were still connected. That would be useful.

“And what about you, Prince?” Shiro asked, his brow furrowed.

“I’ll be fighting from the ground,” I said. “The troops will be too focused on the Lions to notice me. Besides, you’ll need some ground support.”

Allura nodded at me, seemingly conflicted. “Stay safe, all of you,” she said. “Coran and I will do our best to keep you all updated on the status of the battle.”

“They’ll be safe, Princess,” I said, grinning as I SAVEd. My eyes flashed yellow. “Don’t worry.”


	17. Chapter 17

Why the  _ fuck _ did I always take on more than I could handle?

I cursed in Darkonic, the native language of the Darkness Realm, as I dodged swords and blasts and claws. Who didn’t arm these soldiers?! I should  _ not _ have been dodging  _ hands _ . I bit at a Galra soldier whose hand got too close to my mouth, grimacing at the taste of the oozing yellow plasma. The soldier shouted in pain and tore their hand away, leaving an opportunity for me to escape the chaos of the battlefield. As I scampered away, I heard the Lions roar and retake the Galras’ attention. 

_ Cobalt! _ I stumbled at the sudden invasion of my mind, instinctively looking around.

_ What’s wrong? _ I demanded, dredging up as much energy as I could. I’d need it if I had to make a Jump.

_ Keith’s in trouble! _ came Sugar’s desperate answer.  _ I can’t do anything!  _

_ I’m coming, _ I answered, strengthening my resolve and focusing on Sugar’s location. Weakly, his presence pinged in my heart. Holding onto Moxie, I set my sights on a shadowy part of a nearby wall and ran for it. Right before I hit the wall, I gathered my energy close and slid into the Dark.

It welcomed me, caressing my skin, sinking into my blood. It burnt through my lungs and filled my tear ducts with the inky, liquid-like Darkness. Focusing, I pushed my way through the Dark, energy draining from me rapidly. Sugar’s presence grew stronger and I forged ahead, trying to ignore the itch beneath my skin. The passage didn’t take long, maybe a couple of seconds, but it may as well have been hours.

I burst from the Darkness, shouting, “It’s My Turn!” The Galra swinging their cruelly curved blade down at Keith didn’t even register as I shoved my way into the encounter, standing in front of Keith and taking the blow.

Forcing myself into the encounter dropped my DEFENSE to 0.

My HP disappeared in one hit and a perfectly straight, diagonal cut appeared from my right shoulder to my left hip.

“Holy shit, Cobalt,” Keith breathed, his hands hovering below my elbows like he didn't know what to do. That was fine. He was safe. “You’re… you just…!”

Blood dripped down my chest and pooled on the floor.

Struggling, I managed to turn a confident smile onto the Red Paladin. “This is nothing, Keith. Moxie will fix me right up. Listen, you just get out of here, okay? Sugar, you too.” Keith’s shadow, where Sugar resided, trembled and contorted.

“Cobalt… I…” Keith’s purple eyes were blown wide. His bottom lip bled as his teeth tore at it. If he’d been any less strong emotionally, he’d likely have burst into tears.

“I’ll take care of this. Now  _ go!” _ I ordered.

Sugar’s yellow eyes peered up at me as Keith ran away, unable to resist such a direct order but still wanting to, the boy yelling something to me… But I couldn’t focus on his words.

“Hah.” I turned to face the Galra soldier, my legs trembling. Blood soaked into my clothes. I closed my eyes and wheezed out a breath. They waited, not that they had a choice. My Turn was still active. Hopefully Lance would be able to help out the others… I mocked myself, laughing at my own lies. “‘It’s nothing’, I said. No, somehow… with just one hit, I’m…” I leaned heavily on the wall to my right. Already I could feel the Darkness attached to me beginning to eat at my flesh as I lost the energy to keep it sated. “Sugar, Allura, Kolivan… I’ve failed you all.”

Blood continued to drain out of me. The puddle at my feet grew bigger, now spread four or five inches out. The soldier said nothing, waiting patiently. A smile grew on their face as they watched me die slowly and painfully.

“...No.” Moxie burnt my lungs, my veins, refusing to let me go. Moxie couldn’t help me, not with a wound this severe, not without RELOADing. But… Moxie could provide energy for my failing body. Silently, it did so. “No, I won’t… I won’t die!” I forced myself to stand, gasping breath after breath. The soldier scowled; their easy victory slipped away from them. I could have laughed, except the pain was so great it took all my focus just to speak. “My whole body is ready to give up and collapse, but my heart won’t let it…!” The blood flow stopped, but I’d already lost too much to have any hope of surviving. Instead, I would ensure that everyone else did. “ _ Moxie _ won’t let it!” A grin spread across my face, even as the pain began to climb.

“What are you doing?” the Galra snarled. “Just die!” He swung his sword at me. Without the strength to dodge, I let it hit me. My HP dropped below 0, but still I stood there.

“S-See how strong I can be when I refuse to give up?” I asked, panting, more blood draining. “Y-You… you can’t take me down that easily!” I swung too; ACT and MERCY were lost to me, ITEM useless to me, MAGIC unreachable. But I could still swing Damnum Luna at my enemy. I’d never been so close to death before…

Again. Again. Again. The Galra soldier just kept hitting me, his growls growing desperate and full of malice. My HP dropped lower and lower. And still I wouldn’t fall. My attacks became slower, but still I caused damage. When, finally, my enemy fell to the floor and died, I let My Turn end. I let myself fall to my knees, and then fall onto my front. I laughed, coughing up blood as Moxie lost the ability to stop the blood flow any longer. I could feel it, begging me to live, doing its best to heal me… but it couldn’t. These wounds were just too great.

The pool of blood grew bigger and finally, blissfully, I began to lose consciousness.

“Sorry, Sugar…” I rasped to myself. “I promised I’d be more careful… but instead, I’ve failed you.” I closed my eyes as my breaths grew more ragged. “I hope you find happiness… but you should move on now…”

Finally, my strength failed me, and my heart fell into the Darkness’ waiting arms.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it comes to a close.

“No, no, no no nono _ nonono-!” _ Sugar wailed. His paws slipped and slid on the strange tile-like flooring as he scrambled to get to his best friend. “He can’t-  _ you _ can’t-!” The white Galra couldn’t even get out a coherent sentence. Behind him, the sounds of fighting were winding down into cheers.

How could  _ anyone _ be cheering when Cobalt was  _ missing and hurt?! _

The sharp, metallic scent of blood hit his nose and he instinctively turned towards it, his body oozing and leaving bits of Darkness trailing sluggishly behind him. His tail thwapped against a wall but he couldn’t bring himself to care.  _ Cobalt, Cobalt, Cobalt! _ he cried out desperately into the void of Darkness.

...But nobody came.

Sugar stopped short as he came upon the scene, his hands lifting to his mouth. Tears began to form behind his eyes, though he wouldn’t be able to shed them in this form.

Blood spattered the walls. Some of it was the glowing yellow of the Galra. Most of it was the dull red of humans. On the floor in a puddle of yellow plasma lay the soldier who’d been after Keith, eyes glassy and unseeing. Next to the corpse, in a steadily growing pool of red, lay Cobalt.

Sugar couldn’t help it. He screamed. 

But nobody heard him.

He scooped up the body, desperately telling himself that it wasn’t too late, that Moxie was surely keeping Cobalt alive as long as it could. The faint pulsing of Cobalt’s heart spurred him on, darting for Shiro the moment he was out of the building.

“Shiro!” he cried out, his body beginning to melt further in his fear. Shiro turned and opened his mouth, freezing at the sight of the tiny body in Sugar’s hands. “Sh-Shiro, please, we’ve gotta-!”

“I know,” he said, shoving Sugar towards Keith, who had been unable to follow him back into the building from the aliens crowding him. “Keith, take Sugar back to the Castle as quickly as Red can go! Tell Allura and Coran to get a healing pod ready as quickly as possible!”

Keith’s eyes widened at the sight of the tiny body is Sugar’s arms and instantly did as ordered, no questions. Sugar tumbled into the Red Lion’s mouth, beginning to hyperventilate as Cobalt’s heart grew weaker.  _ Please, not yet, _ Sugar whispered silently to his best friend. The white Galra didn’t hear the call between Keith and Coran, pushing as much energy as he safely could into Cobalt to try to keep him alive. Darkness oozed out of the tiny human’s tear ducts. The artificial limbs disappeared, and the glamours covering up those two cursed scars on his cheek faded away.

Yet again, Sugar had failed to keep Cobalt safe.

The Red Lion jolted into a rough landing and Sugar stood, sliding out of its mouth and sprinting for the infirmary. He couldn’t find himself to care about the pieces he was leaving behind. They’d find their way back to him.

Coran was waiting, though his breath faltered at the amount of blood. Sugar and the Altean worked together, stripping Cobalt’s clothes away and dressing him in a pod suit. As soon as he was redressed and prepped for the pod, Sugar pressed the human into it and let it close.

Sugar slumped to his knees in front of the pod and begged his Mistress for Cobalt’s safety.

 

* * *

 

“I don’t know if he’ll live,” Sugar whimpered. “I don’t know how long he was there, bleeding out. I don’t know if he lost too much blood or if Moxie was able to prevent that. I don’t even know how hurt he was.” The white Galra gripped his hair and pulled at it. Claws scratched his scalp.

“There’s a good chance he’ll live,” Coran tried to reassure him. “He was still breathing when you brought him in, and we were able to give him what the humans call a ‘blood transfusion’ after putting him into the pod! You should thank Hunk for the blood, he said that his blood could be used for anyone!”

It didn’t matter. Cobalt’s body could  _ accept _ any blood. It could even accept Darkness as a substitute. Sugar pulled his hands down and stared at them. The Paladins and the Alteans leaned forward in confusion.

“I took this form because it was the best one to protect Cobalt with,” he whispered. “But… I failed. I failed twice. I couldn’t protect him from Lotor and I couldn’t protect him from a single soldier. This form… it’s no good anymore.”

Letting go of the disguise was easy. He dropped it away, feeling himself revert to his normal appearance. He stared, now, at his glittering, ebony black hands. Cobalt used to say it was like looking at a moonless night’s stars. Now… now, would Sugar ever hear him say it again?

With the Galran disguise gone, the tears that had been held back burst forward. Sugar cried and cried, terrified of losing the only person who’d ever loved him. The only person he’d ever truly loved. He buried his hands in his off-white hair and pulled on it as hard as he could, wishing that it would hurt or snap or  _ anything. _ But he was only a creature of Darkness. He wasn’t even a real person.

Sugar’s sobs drowned out the comforting words of the others.


End file.
